Arachnophobia
by SariSpy56 Returns
Summary: Arachnophobia is a specific phobia, the fear of spiders and other arachnids such as scorpions. It's not the spiders in general that he's afraid of. It's the big ones, big enough to eat mice, that he's deathly afraid of. Several scenarios involving Danger Mouse having to deal with his fear of spiders.
1. How DM's Arachnophobia Started

_**DISCLAIMER: Danger Mouse (2015) belongs to CBBC!**_

 _ **This is pretty much a one-shot for now. I'll probably expand it if it's worth getting expanded like I did with Shards.**_

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A phobia is a fear of an object or a situation that may poses little real danger, but it does provoke anxiety and annoyance.

But unlike the anxiety some people feel like having to give out a speech to the rest of the world or taking a math test, a phobia is always long-lasting which can affect a mouse's ability to function normally at work or in social setting.

His arachnophobia, the fear of spiders to the less intelligent, have nearly put the world in harm's way which is in the form of a gigantic spider - the creator of the world wide web, also known as the internet to, again, the less intelligent.

He had every right to be scared. Cor, not _everyone_ can be tough as nails like Batman or Wolverine. He had every right to scream like a girl and hide under the couch after taking notice of a spider's presence in the bathroom while he was having a shower. He had every right to ask Penfold, of all people, to get rid of the spider, which he managed to do so without hesitation.

The problem for it is that he's the world's greatest secret agent. He was supposed to be brave and heroic. Not a scared coward like Penfold.

"Oi! Who are you calling a coward?!" yelled an irritated Penfold.

Sorry about that, Penfold.

Now where was I? Oh yes! He was supposed to be brave and heroic. He was not allowed to show any signs of fear because the world looks up to him like he's their hero. Their interpretation of what being a hero is.

He was supposed to be the guy that always saves the day.

The guy that always do the right thing.

The guy that always come up with brilliant plans.

"Brilliant is such a strong word." said a sarcastic Professor Squawkencluck.

Do you mind, Professor? I'm trying to narrate this fanfiction!

"Proceed." said an irritated Professor Squawkencluck.

But, even the toughest of superheroes can show signs of fear and weakness every once in a while. For example, Superman's most famous weakness is Kryptonite, a material that can weaken the Man of Steel. Some people have witnessed the Man of Steel being weakened by Kryptonite, and even showed fear of it, but they still view Superman as their hero, regardless of his weakness.

But sometimes, even the most normal of civilians won't take kindly to see their hero showing any fears in public. There are some who believe that heroes should be brave and strong 24/7 and never show any fear, or have any at all. If heroes do show any fear, some civilians would start acting like whiny brats and accuse those heroes of being nothing more than scaredy cats.

"As if they don't have any fear to begin with." Danger Mouse said. "Honestly. What's wrong with society these days?"

This is what scares Danger Mouse if somehow his arachnophobia is revealed in public. Of course, he's not above being a prideful egotist when it comes to doing the one job he _truly_ loves the most, but being outright rejected by the people he had vowed to risk his own life (even at the point of losing his other eye) to protect just because he is afraid of spiders is the _last_ thing he wanted to experience.

And it's not even spiders in general that he's afraid of. Heck, he's not even afraid of a tiny spider when it landed on the palm of his hands. It's actually the big spiders he's afraid of.

The big spiders that could possibly be big enough to eat a mouse whole. Just like snakes.

It had happened to his father when he was a teenager. A big spider who had just robbed the Bank of England had ramsacked his parent's home when he was a young teenager that cruel, fateful night. Back then, he didn't need to wear an eye-patch and he still has both his eyes. His father had told him and his mother to find a safe place to hide while he deals with the giant spider, despite Danger Mouse's protests to help his old man take care of the intruder.

Back then, he wasn't afraid of big spiders.

But all of that changes when he and his mother were looking at the scene from the keyhole of the closet door and saw the most horrific thing they have ever seen. It was more horrific than any other horror movies.

His father had tried fighting against the spider one-on-one, but he ended up being eaten alive by that spider. Just watching the spider eating his father slowly and painfully almost made Danger Mouse feel nauseated, being forced to have the urge to throw up at the nearest hat he could find in the closet. But he knew better than that. Not to mention that the spider had not yet notice him and his mother's presence, and neither of them wanted to know what would happen to them if the spider finished eating the older mouse and searches for them for desserts.

Danger Mouse could felt wet tears coming out from both of his eyes when the spider gobbled up what's left of his father. His mother did the same thing as her son did. Even though they weren't crying physically unless they want to be the spider's desserts, they were crying mentally.

Their small cries went unnoticed by the spider as he takes the TV from its nightstand in the living room and left their home in a hurry as police sirens drew near.

The police couldn't find the spider that robbed their home, nor could they find the body of Danger Mouse's father. It must've already been digested by now. What they _do_ found that's is left of his father was his old pipe he used to smoke from whenever he reads the daily newspapers on a clear, sunny morning in London.

That dark and stormy night eventually gave birth to his arachnophobia - a fear of spiders.

Every since that night, Danger Mouse had been having recurring nightmares about huge spiders eating him and his kind night after night. His arachnophobia has been feeding on his nightmares ever since, and it's getting stronger than before, up till the point where he couldn't hide his phobia from the others any longer.

Penfold has already figured it out. Now it's time to tell Professor Squawkencluck and Colonel K his arachnophobia, and its origins.


	2. Sleepless Nights

_**NOTE: Looks like I'm going to continue with this after all. Also, Danger Mouse's personality is STILL going to be a mix of his original 80s personality and his 2015 personality.**_

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Telling anyone other than Penfold about his phobia is the hardest task he has ever done. But it needs to be done sooner or later.

The secret must come out one day.

Already, Professor Squawkencluck had noticed how tired and sleep-deprived he looked whenever he comes down for breakfast every morning due to his nightmares. And every time she tries to ask him if he was okay, he had simply told her that he has been at the training session every night, training and staying up too late. It wasn't a complete lie, but it also wasn't the entire truth that the professor had wanted.

Yes he's been at the training session every night. His only reason to do so was to try to forget the nightmares he's been having and seeing if he could keep his mind off of sleep till morning broke out. It worked a few times, but that caused him to become very tired, up to the point where he fainted from lack of sleep in the middle of a mission - stop Baron Greenback from taking over the world as usual. And the vile toad had used this opportunity to his advantage.

And it was up to the cowardly Penfold to stop Baron Greenback on his own.

"Oi! What did I tell you about calling me a coward?!" Yelled an irritated Penfold in his Giraffe Warrior onesies as he is busy eating cereal.

Sorry, Penfold, but you are a coward sometimes.

"Well I supposed that is true." Penfold replied.

Okay, moving on. As I was saying, it was up to Penfold to stop Baron Greenback on his own after Danger Mouse has fallen unconscious due to lack of sleep. It was tough, but Penfold had managed to wake Danger Mouse in the nick of time, and the world was saved from that villainous toad yet again.

However since that incident, Danger Mouse had made a mental note to stop hanging out at the training session every night and at least get some well-deserved rest. Only Professor Squawkencluck had beaten him to it when Penfold advised him to check up on the professor for any health issues after returning to HQ.

"Danger Mouse, you need to get some well-deserved rest and stop having those late-night training sessions every night." Professor Squawkencluck told him after she is finished checking for any health issues he might have had recently. "I know you needed to stay in shape when it comes to doing dangerous missions, but sometimes, training too much can create some health problems for you."

After leaving the professor's lab, he had decided to take her advice, and, since he needed it badly, went to his room and took a very long, well-deserved rest that he had missed every night. Since then, whenever he wakes up from one of his many nightmares, he would listen to whatever music is playing on the radio and after a few minutes or so, he would try to go back to sleep without encountering anymore nightmares till morning broke out.

He found it very hard to believe that the professor's advice had worked.

He had made up his mind. He was going to tell Professor Squawkencluck the nightmares he's been having every night, and his arachnophobia first. Colonel K is just not ready to know about this yet.

After he, Penfold and Jeopardy Mouse had returned home to Earth after escaping from Quark's latest money-making schemes, also known as episode 15 of the new series, the first thing Danger Mouse did was confront Professor Squawkencluck in her lab. Penfold wanted to tag along with him, but he insisted that he must do it alone.

So as Penfold played his **_Giraffe Warrior_** game while he waited, Danger Mouse made his way to the professor's lab. Fortunately for him, Professor Squawkencluck is still in the lab.

 _What if this was a bad idea?_ Danger Mouse thought, seemingly hesitated before knocking on the lab door.

"I know it's you knocking at my door, Danger Mouse." He heard Professor Squawkencluck's cynical voice holler from the inside. "Come on in."

Without any hesitation, Danger Mouse enters the lab and refrains himself from messing with any of the professor's precious babies.

"Gadgets." said a deadpan Professor Squawkencluck before letting out a grateful smile. "But thanks anyway."

Okay, moving on, Danger Mouse takes a deep breath. It's now or never.

"Professor, I ... I don't know how to tell you this, but .." Danger Mouse spoke, slightly nervous. "Remember all the times you've been asking me if I'm okay every morning?"

"Yes." Professor Squawkencluck replied.

"And you remember all the times I answered to you that I was in the training session every night training."

"Yes." The professor raised an eyebrow. "Are you still doing that after that _incident_ you had during one of your missions?"

"What? No! Nothing like that, professor." Danger Mouse replied in a surprised tone as he throws up his hands in defense. "That's not what I wanted to tell you."

Danger Mouse sighed again. "Professor, what I'm about to tell you is something I've never told anyone (other than Penfold) before. I have arachnophobia."

Neither Danger Mouse nor the professor notice Jeopardy Mouse eavesdropping outside the lab and was surprised that Danger Mouse, whom she considers him to be an immature idiot, had used a big, complex word in one of his sentences.

 _I guess Danger Mouse isn't an idiot after all._ Jeopardy Mouse though before letting out a few quiet giggles. _And I can't believe he has a fear of spiders._

The lab was silent for a couple of seconds before Professor Squawkencluck broke the silence with a smile on her face. "Danger Mouse, there's nothing to be ashamed of having a fear of spiders. It's very common to most people. Even the toughest of men are afraid of a hairy little spider."

"That maybe so, but it's not even the spiders in general I'm afraid of. Heck, I'm not even afraid of a baby spider." Danger Mouse replied. "It's the big spiders I'm actually afraid of."

"Why big spiders?" Professor Squawkencluck asked. "They're basically the same. They're hairy and they have eight legs."

"Remember the world wide web incident in episode 7 of the new series when you told me that the internet is created by a giant spider, and I asked you how big it was and if it eats mice?"

"Yes." Sudden realization hits Professor Squawkencluck. "Are you telling me that you're afraid of big spiders that could possible be big enough to eat mice whole?"

Danger Mouse nods.

"And how does this affect the fact that you didn't have enough sleep before the _incident_ where I had to see if you're having any health issues prior to that?"

Danger Mouse sighs. Guess it's time to tell her about his nightmares and his origin of his arachnophobia. "I've been having nightmares about it every night prior to the _incident,_ professor."

He was going to say more, but Professor Squawkencluck stops him. "The only theory I can possible make based on the information you have told me is that you must've seen either one of your relatives or another mice being eaten alive by a giant spider when you were young."

"Yes. Witnessing my father being eaten alive by a giant spider who once robbed the Bank of England while I was a teenager is what caused me to have arachnophobia and having nightmares every night." Danger Mouse answered.

"Danger Mouse. I am so sorry." Professor Squawkencluck replied sadly as she hugs Danger Mouse. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I _was_ going to tell you and the others about it," Danger Mouse replied with a guilty look on his face. "To be honest, I was _actually_ scared of what the outcome would be afterwards."

"You honestly think we won't take you seriously and make fun of you for having arachnophobia after you told us?" Professor Squawkencluck asked again. Their eyes locked onto each other. "Danger Mouse, you may be the world's greatest secret, but even secret agents have weaknesses and fears, and you shouldn't be forced to hide your fears just because the world expects you to be nothing more than just another brave superhero that they can rely on."

After the professor had finished her little speech, Danger Mouse gives her a genuine smile, showing her how much he appreciates her kind words. "Thank you, professor."

"That's what friends are for." Professor Squawkencluck replied as she and Danger Mouse hugged each other for a few slow seconds before pulling away.

Now that this is done, what are you two going to do with Jeopardy Mouse who has been eavesdropping outside of the lab all along?

"Hang on, Jeopardy has been eavesdropping on us?" Danger Mouse asked the narrator when all of a sudden, the lab doors flung open and entering the lab with a THUD was Jeopardy Mouse, followed by a very curious Penfold.

"At least it's better than being called a coward twice." Penfold added.

Penfold, I'm trying to wrap things up here!

"Sorry. Continue."

"How long have you two been eavesdropping on us?" Professor Squawkencluck asked both Jeopardy Mouse and Penfold.

"Just after the Chief entered your lab, Professor." Penfold replied. "To tell the truth, I was a bit curious."

"And I thought you'd be back home in America by now." Danger Mouse spoke to Jeopardy. "What made you decided to stick around here?"

Jeopardy dusts the dirt off of her suit as she stands up and faces Danger Mouse. "What? Can't I show any concern for you every once in a while?"

"Umm ... knowing you, you're always being serious and no-nonsense to begin with, Jeopardy." Penfold replied before Danger Mouse could even speak. "Cor, fun isn't even in your vocabulary, and showing signs of emotions isn't even your forte."

"I don't blame her for being who she is now." Danger Mouse replied to Penfold. "She only appeared in two episodes so far, so it might take some more time for her character to fully develop instead of having lazy writers write her as another one of those action girl characters that so many viewers are sick to death of like most cartoons nowadays."

"You really think I have a chance of being a well-developed character in the show?" Jeopardy Mouse asked Danger Mouse.

"Madame, this is the 21st century." Danger Mouse replied. "Those days of writing female characters as simple damsels-in-distress, stay-at-home-wives/mothers and sex symbols are long gone. The world is evolving, and man must learn to accept changes, whether he likes it or not."

"Y'know, you're not as dumb as I thought you'd be." Jeopardy Mouse added. "You can be smart if you wanted to."

"Why thank you." Danger Mouse replied.

Again, silence took over the lab for a coupe of seconds before Jeopardy broke the silence. "I'd ... better go now."

Once Jeopardy has left HQ, Danger Mouse decided that he would tell Colonel K about his arachnophobia next.

Only when the right time comes.


	3. Arachne-Tu Part 1

**_I think this chapter's going to rated T because of drugs being used in this chapter or something. I have no idea if drug use is going to be T-rated or not, but let me know in the reviews, okay?_**

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He did _not_ plan for all of this to happen.

Colonel K's hologram has informed him and Penfold that there has been _another_ giant spider attack. Only this time, the attack was taking place in Egypt, and the giant spider himself isn't the same one, Lionel that created the Internet. In fact, this one has a golden color instead of blue.

He knew he had gotten over his fear of big spider since the last giant spider attack thanks to Penfold.

"You better not be calling me a coward!" Penfold spoke to the narrator.

I wasn't planning on doing that.

This new giant spider that was attacking Egypt was a bit smaller than the last giant spider Danger Mouse has fought, much to his relief. If looks could kill, this giant spider doesn't seem to have any sort of feelings within him, I mean, if we could look inside its head, chances are we would not be able to see his Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust and Fear doing all the controls of his mind like the movie "Inside Out" (if you readers haven't seen the movie yet, you probably should watch it right now! It's incredible!). In fact, _none_ of this giant spider's emotions are present. The only thing on his mind is his instincts, and that could mean a very terrible thing is about to happen towards Danger Mouse and Penfold.

With his killer instincts taking over his mind, this giant golden spider only has one thing in mind - kill Danger Mouse and Penfold. But since Penfold is nowhere in sight (he just needs to go to the bathroom for a little bit since he didn't bother to go before leaving HQ in the first place), the giant golden spider decided to settle on killing Danger Mouse instead.

The worst part? This giant golden spider is actually the ancient Egyptian monster called Arachne-Tu who is infamous for giving the Egyptians arachnophobia many millenniums ago. Some of their descendants _still_ has that phobia as of now. The giant spider, Arachne-Tu would kidnap unsuspecting victims, whether they're in dark, empty tombs, alone in the desert at night, or even sleeping in their beds in their safe and secure homes, wrapped them up in cocoons made out of silk threads like mummies and then he would eat his victims when he grows hungry. Sometimes he eats his victims in their sleep, and sometimes he would wait for his victims to wake up long enough to feel the terror of being eaten alive and dying a slow, painful death. Danger Mouse had taken the time to learn about what he's going up against thanks to his iPatch.

"Actually, I recalled the time Danger Mouse read the Ancient Egyptian encyclopedia book he got from the local library a month ago, and read the section about that monstrous spider we're going to be battling in this chapter." Penfold corrected the narrator.

Arachne-Tu's favorite victims to eat? Mice because he finds them to be very vulnerable creatures and easy to capture. He knew that mice are always incapable of fighting back. Least favorite victims? Hamsters because one hamster _managed_ to defeat him in the past and sealed him away in a tomb where he would sleep for eternity. In fact, Arachne-Tu steered clear of hamsters due to them having some sort of courage hidden within themselves.

Since he happens to be a mouse himself, being eaten alive by a giant spider like Arachne-Tu is what scares Danger Mouse the most. A giant spider had eaten his father in the past, he doesn't want to share that same fate. He was grateful that Lionel hadn't eat him when he attacked the world after being waken up by Penfold trying to destroy the giant web in HQ, not realizing that it was actually what created the internet.

Arachne-Tu plans on eating Danger Mouse and he will make sure that once Penfold returns and sees Danger Mouse mummified and immobilized by his silk, he'll make the hamster _watch_ his mouse friend's demise. He might consider this a revenge on the hamster after being forced to sleep for far too long.

And it has happened to Danger Mouse. One minute, he was in the Mark 4, doing his best to defeat Arachne-Tu while controlling his arachnophobia (and it seems to be working good so far). The next thing he knew, Danger Mouse has been knocked out from the car by Arachne-Tu and landed on the hot, dry sand with a loud THUD, followed by a very hard bump in the head from a really hard rock, rending him unconscious as the Mark 4 crashes into one of the ancient pyramids.

Arachne-Tu lets out a venomous grin. With Danger Mouse unconscious, this would make a great advantage for him to use. Not only that, he had an even more greater advantage upon learning that Penfold _hasn't_ return yet.

He has lots of time.

Very carefully, Arachne-Tu lifts Danger Mouse's body from the ground with one of his eight giant legs, and uses two of his legs to get whatever silk he needed to cocoon his victim from his abdomen. By using another one of his legs, Arachne-Tu began wrapping the unconscious Danger Mouse in strong, sticky silk from head to toe like a mummy, save for his eyes because he wanted him to witness his own demise. To make it more like the ancient art of mummification to satisfy his desire to eat his victim, Arachne-Tu used another leg to have Danger Mouse's limp arms crossed; right over left, and left over right like an actual mummy. The spider's mouth watered as he works. The process may be slow and he's hungry right about now, but Arachne-Tu would rather have our hero be a delicious meal that would last for a couple of minutes rather than gobble him down in just one bite and let his stomach do the digestion.

Besides, he wants Danger Mouse to experience the slow, painful death as he devours him, and he also wants Penfold to helplessly watch his friend's demise.

During this grim process, Danger Mouse lets out a long groan and slowly opens his only good eye. Unfortunately, at a time like this, right when he just woke up from what seems like a really short coma, his right eye felt groggy, as if he was either unconscious recently, didn't get enough sleep last night, or has been drugged and is having troubles comprehending on what's going on right now.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Arachne-Tu's silk has a chemical substance flowing within it? When a victim of Arachne-Tu, i.e. Danger Mouse gets cocooned by the spider's silk, the drug will start to kick in, causing the victim to experience a few symptoms such as dizziness, nausea, temporary blackouts, headache, the list goes on, and they're usually chosen at random. Some archaeologists claimed that the the drug lasts approximately 6 hours, probably even less but either way, there's nothing Danger Mouse could do when Arachne-Tu is ready to devour him.

So far, Danger Mouse has experience a huge headache and slight dizziness. He felt too sore to do anything that trying to get his body to move, despite being covered in silk, is like pinning one too many needles all over his muscles. It's probably not a good idea to push himself any further until the pain wears off.

Trying to adjust his vision is also another huge problem for him right now. Despite having one eye not being injured, his vision is blurry, disoriented and all over the place, like his head is spinning around like crazy. He swore he saw multiple giant spiders in front of him, all of them wearing venomous smiles across their scary faces, and he saw more than 8 legs doing something to him. Multiple strings of strong silk travelling around his aching body as if the spiders are trying to cocoon him alive.

Silk?

Cocoon him alive?

And then the spinning stopped, allowing his eye to finally focus, and Danger Mouse felt a discovery, followed by a painful headache. Arachne-Tu is mummifying and immobilizing him with his silk.

Fear began to creep up to his spines. His arachnophobia is slowing coming back to him. He _knew_ why it's coming back to him, after everything he and Penfold went through since the last spider attack.

Arachen-Tu is going to eat him alive. He's going to die the same way his father had died.

Danger Mouse tries to struggle again, hoping that somehow he would get the sticky silk off of him, but then he remembered that the pain within his body is just too overwhelming. Every time he moves a muscle, he is force to experience unbelievable pain. He came to a grim conclusion that as long as he doesn't move a muscle to experience more pain, he can't do anything to save himself from becoming spider food. He knew that after many centuries of being asleep, Arachne-Tu would be _beyond_ hungry. He knew that once Arachne-Tu devours him for good, he will not hesitate of getting seconds, even thirds. He will go around the world, finding every single mouse he could find to eat. He knew he won't be there to save all the innocent mice from being eaten alive by that monstrous spider. Thanks to his arachnophobia coming back to him, he knew that this will be his fault.

No. He can't let that happened.

No other mouse is going to share his father's fate.

He decided to try moving his body one more time. He doesn't care about the headache he still has. He doesn't care about the pain every time he moves. He's going to try to reach for his pocket knife from inside his belt. He'd do it quickly if Arachne-Tu's silk isn't so sticky, if Arachen-Tu haven't made him cross his arms like a mummy, and if he wasn't still drugged. That drug Arachne-Tu has put on his silk is making Danger Mouse's body ache like crazy and it's still giving him a headache.

But it doesn't matter. He could feel his right arm slowing moving towards his belt under the tight cocoon. Just a little closer ...

"Gmph mph!" He was trying to yell ' _Got it_!' after getting his right hand on his pocket knife, but Arachne-Tu's web covered his mouth and nose shut like duct tape.

He wanted to get out of the cocoon prison as quickly as possible. To never have to go through his arachnophobia ever again. To just beat Arachne-Tu and save the world as quickly as possible and then treat this annoying headache of his.

But Arachne-Tu is still cocooning him in another layer of web, making sure that Danger Mouse doesn't escape. If he tries to escape now, there's a huge chance that Arachne-Tu would notice what's going on, recapture him and just devour him quickly to keep him from escaping him for good.

He would have to use his brain, despite that annoying headache of his, if he's going to escape. Like before, Danger Mouse has his right arm back to where Arachne-Tu had it positioned. This time, he has his pocket knife in the palm of his right hand, holding onto it and never letting it go.

When Arachne-Tu is finished cocooning Danger Mouse who had pretended to still be drugged by the silk, he decides that he would save him for dinner in the same tomb that that hamster had sealed him in a long time ago. But first, he wants to leave Penfold a note.

Danger Mouse was trying to yell _'You leave Penfold out of this!',_ but all he could say, thanks to the sticky silk, was, "Mmph lmmph Pmphfmmph mmph mph tmph!" while making sure that Arachne-Tu is still thinking that he's still drugged.

Arachne-Tu wrote the note and placed it on the damaged Mark 4's steering wheel. If Penfold is going to try looking for Danger Mouse after taking a really long leak in the restroom, he should be able to find the note on the damaged car.

No sooner had Arachne-Tu took a cocooned Danger Mouse back to his tomb (which is the same pyramid the Mark 4 crashed on earlier), Penfold _finally_ shows up from many hours of taking a leak.

"Man, that feels better." Penfold cried in relief as he tries to look for Danger Mouse. "Chief? Where did you go?"

No answer.

But what caught his eyes is the damaged Mark 4 located near a pyramid. The fire was already cleared and what caught his attention is a note lodged into the steering wheel.

 _To the hamster friend of the one-eye mouse,_

 _I, Arachne-Tu, have invited your mouse friend to a dinner I am hosting tonight in my tomb. You can join the party if you want, but I wouldn't recommend it if you're not too fond of unexpected surprises._

 _My tomb is right in front of you, if you haven't figured it out already, you brainless dolt!_

 _Hurry, your mouse friend's dying to see you._

 _Arachne-Tu, the spider with the golden coat._

"Oi! That nasty spider's got my friend in that dark, scary tomb!" Penfold cried after reading the note.

He knew there's nothing Danger Mouse couldn't handle but as his best friend, he couldn't let Danger Mouse go through another round of dealing with his arachnophobia alone.

Right, he's going to go inside that tomb, beat the living daylights out of that Arachne-Tu spider and save Danger Mouse from being eaten alive.

Or is Arachne-Tu _really_ just inviting Danger Mouse to a harmless dinner like a friendly neighbor?

Either way, Penfold is willing to enter the tomb, for better or for worse.

 _ **To be continued ...**_


	4. Arachne-Tu Part 2

_**The previous chapter was originally just one scenario, but I ended up splitting it into two parts because it was too long of a scenario, and better this way.**_

 _ **This is a continuation of Arachne-Tu Part 1.**_

* * *

Meanwhile, Arachne-Tu is putting on the finishing touches on the table where not only does he have a lot of delicious food well-cooked and placed on the table, he had a cocooned and (hopefully) still-drugged Danger Mouse place in a golden dish in the middle of the table, indicating that he is the main dish, positioned like an Egyptian mummy with blue lotus flower petals circling around him. Arachne-Tu even made Danger Mouse wear a golden ankh necklace around his neck.

That spider couldn't help but show off, am I right?

"Nmmph nmph tmmph tmphh tmmph mmph mph jmmph!" Danger Mouse muffled at the narrator by saying ' _Now's not the time to make a joke!'_

Sorry, Danger Mouse, but you kinda look good in silk, don't you think?

"Mph, mph. Mmphmph mmmphph." Danger Mouse muffled sarcastically which translates to ' _Ha, ha. Very funny.'_

Danger Mouse had make sure that he would try to cut the strong, sticky cocoon loose when Arachne-Tu isn't looking. He'd have to do it slowly as well. He was glad that the pain in his body had worn off, but he still has to pretend being drugged.

Unfortunately for him, that headache of his _just_ won't leave him alone for even a minute. Ever since he got knocked unconscious, the headache had become worse. Is it possible that he's going to have a head injury?

 _Focus._ Danger Mouse thought as he continues to slowly cut the cocoon loose. _You can worry about that headache of yours later._

"Just try to relax, chum." Arachne-Tu's deep voice stopped Danger Mouse from cutting the cocoon for now. "Once your little hamster friend shows up, we can get the party started."

Danger Mouse wanted to give Arachne-Tu a death glare and yell ' _Leave Penfold alone!',_ but he knew he couldn't do it. He would end up saying something unintelligent thanks to the web covering his mouth, and he knew that Arachne-Tu would laugh at him for trying to make some sort of threat. Instead, he kept quiet and acted that he's still on the spider's drug, but still gave the golden spider a death glare.

"Oi! Are you in here, Danger Mouse?" Penfold voice cried from not far away.

Danger Mouse's eye widen in fear. Penfold's here?

"Eh?" Arachne-Tu stopped putting pepper on a plate full of garlic bread. "That must be your hamster friend. You wouldn't mind letting me introduce myself to your friend, would you?"

"Lmmmph Pmphfmmph mphmmph!" It was obvious Danger Mouse was going to yell ' _Leave Penfold alone'._

"You don't mind?" Arachne-Tu asked Danger Mouse again.

Danger Mouse muffled louder as he squirms under the sticky cocoon, but still let that monstrous spider know that he's still drugged. He was telling Arachne-Tu again to leave Penfold alone. He can't let his friend handle a giant spider alone. He's too innocent to get hurt by that monstrous spider that loves to eat mice.

"Chief! Where are you?" Penfold's voice cried louder.

"I'd love to stay and chat, my friend," Arachne-Tu spoke to Danger Mouse once more before leaving the dining chamber of the tomb. "But I can't have your friend waiting any longer."

As soon as Arachne-Tu left, Danger Mouse stops pretending to be drugged and continues to cut the cocoon loose. He could hear a shear being created the closer his pocket knife gets to cutting him loose.

Just as he thought he was going to get free, he heard footsteps coming closer to the chamber.

 _Crap. It's Arachne-Tu._ Danger Mouse thought frantically as he stops cutting the cocoon yet again and pretends to be drugged once more before Arachne-Tu shows up and starts getting suspicious.

He has to pretend that his vision is still blurry and disorientated and to pretend that his body aches so much that he's unable to move unless he wants to feel intense pain. The only thing he's not faking (thought he'd wish it was fake) is that annoying headache of his. It keeps getting worse within minutes.

 _I really need to see Professor Squawkencluck about this headache once we get back to HQ._ He mentally made a note to himself.

Much to his surprise, it wasn't Arachne-Tu that enters the chamber. It was a worried-sick Penfold.

Doesn't matter. He _still_ needs to pretend that he's still on drugs to keep Arachne-Tu from getting suspicious. He hated doing this to best friend, but it's the only way they can get out of this situation alive.

"Chief!" Penfold cried as he runs up to the table where Danger Mouse is being located along with the other delicious food.

Because there's a giant spider living in a pyramid as its prison for all of eternity, some of its furniture and stuff have to be a bit larger than life. Because of this, Penfold has to climb his way up to the table in order to get close to Danger Mouse.

"Are you alright, Chief?" Penfold asked Danger Mouse as he attempts to get the sticky silk that traps his best friend off of him but to no avail. "Cor, that web's stronger than I thought it'd be."

Danger Mouse didn't answer.

"Chief?"

Penfold took one look into Danger Mouse's eyes and, he couldn't help but let out a disappointed expression while at the same time, worry for his friend's condition. His only good eye was blurry, disoriented and very tired. He felt lightheaded as his head slowly moves around in circles. His body seemed to be aching in pain every time he moves a muscle. Arachne-Tu had drugged Danger Mouse, however, he didn't realize that this was only a trick to keep Arachne-Tu from discovering what is really going on, and he didn't notice the intense pain that annoying headache of his is almost at the urge to destroy Danger Mouse's mind.

"Oh, Chief," Penfold cried sadly that almost sounded like a whisper. "You've been drugged."

"Do you like what you see, hamster?" Arachne-Tu's deep voice nearly scared the living daylights out of Penfold who shrieked in fear.

"W-w-what do you want with Danger Mouse, you terrible spider?" Penfold asked Arachne-Tu.

"Isn't that any way to treat your host?" Arachne-Tu replied as he takes Penfold off the table and place him in a spare chair not far from the table. "All I did is invite this nice fellow for dinner. Should be grateful that I spend nearly all day preparing this for the two of us."

"Cor, what do you mean by that?" Penfold asked, afraid of what the outcome might be.

Arachne-Tu and Penfold didn't notice Danger Mouse continuing to cut the cocoon loose in silence. Danger Mouse gave Penfold a disapproved look.

"Mph wmmph ymmph mphmmph mmph mph." He was obvious saying ' _I wished you haven't said that'_ to Penfold.

"What I meant to say, my small friend, is that we're having dinner." Arachne-Tu spoke again as he turns his attention to Danger Mouse who stops cutting and resumes his drug act. "And your mouse friend's the main course."

"Oh ick!" Penfold cried as he felt his stomach being sick. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Arachne-Tu turns his attention back to Penfold who is clenching his upset stomach. "Gee, if you're that sick, why not take some of my healing medicine?"

 _Almost there._ Danger Mouse knew that any second now, he's going to be free.

"Are you sure your medicine is safe?" Penfold asked Arachne-Tu.

He felt air coming inside the stuffy cocoon. If only Penfold could distract Arachne-Tu long enough for him to make the small hole in the cocoon bigger.

"My medicine always works like a charm." Arachne-Tu answered Penfold's question. "Last time I took the medicine, I was having the stomach flu."

The hole is getting bigger. He could move his arms freely now.

"And when was the last time you took the medicine to cure your stomach flu?" Penfold asked again.

He's got his entire body removed from the opened cocoon. All that's left is to remove the thick web that wrapped all over his ears and above his eyes and kept his mouth shut like duct tape. He didn't notice the golden ankh necklace still wrapped around his neck.

"The 12th Dynasty, probably 1981 BC." Arachne-Tu replied.

Removing the thick web from his mouth and ears stings like hell. He makes sure he didn't utter a cry of pain as he makes an attempt to attack Arachne-Tu from behind while Penfold's distracting him. Just give this spider a good hard kick in the back of the head and he and Penfold will get home with minimal injuries.

Before he could make an attempt to kick, the headache returns and it's _beyond_ worse than usual. Now he is considering making a trip to Professor Squawkencluck's lab the first thing he's going to do when they get home. She'll know what to do with headaches that are worse than normal.

Ugh! Even thinking about something is giving him a bad headache.

What is happening to him?

Why all of a sudden, he felt the world spinning around him in circles? Why is he starting to fell lightheaded and finding his footing hard to control? Why is he tired all of a sudden?

The headache keeps getting worse and worse.

As if dealing with a really bad headache wasn't enough, he suddenly lost his footing at the edge of the table and fall. By the time he landed on the cold stone floors, he had already lost consciousness, again.

The noise of Danger Mouse falling into the floor receives Penfold and Arachne-Tu's attention.

"What gives?" Arachne-Tu yelled at he and Penfold turned to the source of the noise. He notices that Danger Mouse isn't in the cocoon, nor is he on the plate. "Oi, where is that one-eyed mouse friend of yours?"

"On the floor, passed out from the fall." Penfold answered as he shows Arachne-Tu our fallen hero. "The drugs killed him!"

"Oi, the drug on my web silk are supposed to last about 6 hours!" Arachne-Tu cried. "And it has been over 6 hours! Something must've went wrong! I didn't mean to overdose the drug. I just wanted to use it to keep my victims from reacting so quickly, not kill them before dinner!"

"Either Danger Mouse is pretending to still be drugged after 6 hours or he suffered some sort of injury during one of your many battles with him?" Penfold continued.

Arachne-Tu sighed nervously. "I, er ... I-I think I ended up knocking him out of his flying car which caused his head to get hit by that hard rock when he fell. Could be a head injury or a really bad headache. Sorry about that, chum."

He continues. "I would really like to help you treat your friend's injury, but I don't have today's technology to fix it."

"What about your healing medicine?" Penfold asked. "You said it would work like a charm?"

"It's only works on flu and sickness as far as I know. Let me take you guys back to your home! At least I'll repay you after wrecking your car by accident."

"But London's too far away from here!" Penfold cried. "DM could might as well be dead by the time we get there."

"Then let me take you to the nearest hospital from here instead." Arachne-Tu suggested.

"It better not be one of those dirty hospitals I read about from the internet." Penfold complained again.

"Not even going to bother taking you there." Arachne-Tu replied. "Too many people died there from terrible living conditions. I know! I'll take you to a hospital in Turkey! Definitely better than going to a hospital with terrible conditions."

Penfold thinks for a moment. "Okay, Turkey it is, but you better not be eating my friend along the way."

"Cross me heart and hope to sleep another 4000 years." Arachne-Tu scoops up Danger Mouse's unconscious body carefully and, once more, cocoons him in silk, only this time, the silk comes from his fangs.

"Oi! I thought I told you not to eat my friend!" Penfold yelled at Arachne-Tu after witnessing the spider cocooning the unconscious Danger Mouse.

"No, no, no, it's okay, my friend!" Arachne-Tu pleaded Penfold. "The silk I'm using here actually has healing powers. It can heal whatever injury your friend might have, but it's only temporary. Afterwards, the rest will be all up to the doctors."

"Oh alright, if you say so." Penfold drops the subject as he climbs up to Arachne-Tu's back who leaves his tomb and heads to the nearest hospital he could find (Memorial Antalya Hastanesi) with a cocooned Danger Mouse being located and watched over by a worried Penfold.

()()()()()

First was the slight pain that he unwillingly felt.

Next came the fainting hearing.

"Chief?" Penfold's voice cried faintly. "Can you hear me?"

The dark void began to be engulfed by a faint light, followed by vision slowly being focused. With his only good eye open, he could see the stark-white ceiling tiles and fluorescent light bulbs attached to it. He could also see Penfold's silhouette hovering over him. Danger Mouse could easily tell that he is in the hospital.

"Nasıl hissediyorsun?" a female mouse doctor asked Danger Mouse.

"Eh?" Penfold asked the doctor. "That's a weird way to talk?"

"Nasıl hissediyorsun?" the doctor asked Danger Mouse again when she didn't get a response.

"Oh." Danger Mouse knew that she was speaking ' _How are you feeling?'_ in Turkish. He decided to might as well speak Turkish. "Tamam hissediyorum sanırım." which translates to ' _I am feeling okay, I guess.'_

Danger Mouse continues speaking Turkish. "Benimle yanlış olduğunu biliyor musun?" ( _Do you know what is wrong with me?)_

"Sen büyük bir kafa yaralanması acı oylandı." The doctor answered Danger Mouse which translates to ' _You have been suffering a major head injury.'_

 _Well that's explains the really bad headache._ Danger Mouse thought as he felt bandage gauze wrapped around his head.

"Ayrıca, ben gerçekten altın gibi giyiyorsun kolye. Değerli falan olmalı." The doctor added as she smiles, which translates to ' _Also, I really like that gold necklace you're wearing. Must be valuable or something._ '

 _What necklace?_ Danger Mouse raised an eyebrow as the doctor left him and Penfold alone. _Since when do I wear a neck-_

His hand felt something smooth pressed onto his chest, and gold chain freely wrapped around his neck.

 _Oh._ He thought as he remembered the golden ankh necklace that Arachne-Tu made him wear for dinner. _That gold necklace. I wonder why it's still there._

"Er, DM?" Penfold squeaked.

"Yes, Penfold?"

"Do you remember the last thing you did before you went unconscious and nearly scared me to death?" Penfold asked, showing all of his worries and concerns he's been bottling up for who knows how long.

Danger Mouse closes his only good eye and tries to remember the last thing he did.

"The last thing I did ..." Danger Mouse pondered. "I ... I was freeing myself from Arachne-Tu's cocoon ... I had to pretend that I was ..."

He sighed. He hated doing this, but Penfold deserves to know the truth. "That I was still drugged when Arachne-Tu shifted his attention to me."

Penfold stayed silent as Danger Mouse continues. "I was just about to give him a surprise attack while you were distracting him when than annoying headache-"

"Head injury, chief." Penfold corrected him.

"... head injury of mine got the best of me." Danger Mouse finished. "Honestly, that's all I could remember."

He didn't get a response from Penfold. He thought that Penfold would be upset about the fact that he was used as bait while he attempted to give Arachne-Tu a surprise attack, and has been pretending to be drugged.

He thought that after all that had happened, Penfold wouldn't want to speak to him again.

But he felt something. Something that wrapped around him tight, so tight that he nearly couldn't breath. He looked down to what was holding him.

Penfold is hugging him. And tears were coming out from under his glasses.

"Penfold?"

"You almost died." Penfold cried. "That ... um ... that thingy ... you have ..."

"My arachnophobia?" Danger Mouse asked.

"Yeah, that one!" Penfold replied as more tears come out of his eyes. "Thanks to that, and those nasty drugs Arachne-Tu had given to you earlier, I almost lost my best friend!"

Danger Mouse's ears drooped and lets out a guilty look on his face. He didn't mean to make Penfold upset like that.

"I ..." He tries to find his words, the right words to tell Penfold just how sorry he was for being reckless and making him upset like that. He just ... couldn't find the right words to do it.

"You were the best friend I ever had, DM." Penfold spoke again. "Just ... promise me you won't do something that ends in death. Pretty please with a chocolate sundae with a cherry on top of it?"

He looks into Penfold's eyes, and sees those sad, worrying eyes. Worried that his friend could possibly die from another incident similar to this. Without saying anything, he wraps his arms around Penfold and hugged him, mentally promising himself he wouldn't let go.

"I promise."


	5. Arachne-Tu Aftermath

_**This is a (very) short aftermath of the Arachne-Tu scenario (chapters 3 and 4 respectively).**_

* * *

Ever since the Arachne-Tu incident back in Egypt, he had make sure that in future missions, he wouldn't do something so reckless and stupid that would end with him being dead and an upset Penfold mourning over the death of his best friend.

"At least you're not calling me a coward this time." Penfold told the narrator.

Penfold, I am trying to narrate this very short chapter.

"Sorry."

Danger Mouse has been released from the hospital in Turkey after spending 2 nights there. His health was back to normal, but he was advised to not drive for a while for fear that his head injury could start creating problems for him. To his surprise and relief, Penfold volunteered to drive the both of them home to London.

During the ride home, he wonders on just how upset or worried both Professor Squawkencluck and Colonel K were after not hearing anything from them for 2 days. The Mark 4 was still in repairs during that time, so getting in contact with them seemed impossible.

Professor Squawkencluck didn't hesitate on tackling Danger Mouse the minute he steps inside, and dragging him to her lab, looking for any signs of injury or health issues he might have had.

Much like Penfold, the professor was worried sick. Not like the time she thought she was going to lose her favorite pen from an experiment gone wrong. I mean, _genuinely_ worried sick.

She seems to hit the jackpot when she notices the bandages still wrapped around Danger Mouse's head.

"Danger Mouse." she spoke to him. "What happened to your head?"

"Oh this?" Danger Mouse points at his injury. "Let's just say that after that giant spider, Arachne-Tu knocked me off from the Mark 4 from a very long height, my head got hit by a rock by the time I reached the ground, and I lost consciousness. That must've explained why I got this really bad headache by the time I came around."

He saw that horrified look on the professor's face. "I ... I'm sorry if I made you this upset, professor."

He didn't get a response when he felt himself being tackled by the professor into a tight hug. He swore he could hear her muttering, "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again."

He smiled. "I won't, professor."

But then he lets out a sad emotion. he remembers his promise to Penfold to never do something that would end with him being dead. He knew he isn't invincible. He knew he isn't immortal. He dreaded to think that one day, he might have to break his promise when coming across a situation where he can't stay alive any longer.

He can promise Penfold to stay alive for as long as he could (probably up to his 70s or 80s), but he knew he could never promise Penfold to live _forever._

Some die, some live, some being born. An old man dies, a young baby is born. It's just how life goes. There's no ifs, ands or buts about it.

For what seems like a long time, he heard Professor Squawkencluck speak again. "Nice necklace you're wearing, Danger Mouse."

He looks down and notices the same golden ankh necklace that Arachne-Tu made him wear for dinner when he and Penfold were in Egypt. He's not spider food anymore, and he's feeling a lot better lately.

He doesn't remember something important that could be connected to him wearing that necklace.

Neither does he remember Arachne-Tu letting him keep the necklace after what he had done to him before.

So why is he still wearing it?

It's one of those mysteries Danger Mouse have yet to solve.


	6. Spa Treatment (is what DM needs)

There aren't any dangerous missions for him to do.

There aren't any evil villains for him to defeat.

There aren't any alien invaders planning to conquer Earth.

There aren't any money-making schemes caused by Quark for the third time.

There aren't any giant spider attacks for him to take care of while controlling his arachnophobia.

He and Penfold are on a well-deserved vacation, asked by Penfold and given approval to do so by Colonel K. Penfold suggested that they go for a ship cruise to the Bahamas for their vacation.

The bandages on his head were already removed a week ago.

So why is his body aching all of a sudden?

All he remembered throughout the entire cruise so far is doing less than half of all the activities he and Penfold could think of while on a cruise for the second time. Their first cruise to Hawaii was both a bore and a disaster. A bore because he had nothing to do while Penfold is busy playing **_Giraffe Warrior_** all throughout the trip. A disaster because he broke Penfold's promise to take a well-deserved vacation by having to fight Baron Greenback's monster behind his best friend's back.

This time, he is willing to make it up to Penfold. He is willing to put friendship first and missions second.

This time, Penfold is willing to do something on a cruise other than playing handheld video-games all throughout the trip. How can he get Danger Mouse to relax for a change if all he does throughout the entire trip is do nothing but try endlessly to unlock a new achievement in a video game?

Both Danger Mouse and Penfold knew that they won't arrive to the Bahamas for at least another few days or so. Which means that they've got enough time to try all of the cruise activities they could find.

First they tried to play one-on-one volleyball. The problem with it is that Penfold always misses the ball while Danger Mouse discovers that he was just too good, and imagining him winning all the time could really hurt Penfold's confidence.

So they left volleyball alone to a family of Czech spiders who are enjoying playing a good game of volleyball against each other.

Next, they tried indoor rock-climbing which is located in the ship's gym. Sometimes, he wonders how the ship could handle a lot of weight. Again, Danger Mouse finds himself too good for this while Penfold, due to his small size, is still having troubles climbing. At one point, Penfold almost slipped, and if it wasn't for Danger Mouse to grab him in the nick of time (and if it wasn't for an American spider nearby to grab Danger Mouse from slipping and sharing Penfold's fate), Penfold would've fallen to the floor from a very long height and be taken to the infirmary for any injuries he might had from the fall.

After saving Penfold from falling from a long height, he and Penfold call it quits from rock-climbing and moved on to the next activity they could think of - table tennis.

This one actually went well so far. Danger Mouse and Penfold played a very fair and balanced game. Sometimes, Danger Mouse would win a couple of rounds. Other times, Penfold would win, thus his confidence grew, which Danger Mouse is happy for. That is until Penfold swings too hard when the tennis ball bounces towards him. Danger Mouse had heard a popping sound coming from Penfold and he could tell that it's not a good sign. That hard swing causes Penfold's right wrist to twist, causing the hamster to scream in pain.

Like a good friend, Danger Mouse rushed to Penfold's aid and took a look at his wrist. It was swelling pretty badly.

And it was a good thing he brought the spare first-aid kit with him in case something like this happened while on vacation, suggested by Danger Mouse alone and given approval to do so by Professor Squawkencluck ... after giving her a good reason why.

After bandaging Penfold's sprained wrist, Danger Mouse decided to stop playing table-tennis. As they leave, they didn't notice two teenage spiders - one from Russia and one from Japan playing a friendly one-on-one game.

Penfold has decided to just sit on one of the deck chairs and look at the ocean and various surrounding for a while, leaving Danger Mouse to do something on his own for a while.

So he tried every other activity he could think off to keep himself from being bored to death. But in the end, he had proven himself too good that he actually doesn't find any of the activities fun at all.

With Penfold while they were playing table-tennis earlier, it was a fun, engaging challenge. Without him in all other activities, it seems like a waste of time.

Sometimes, he wished he wasn't always good at everything.

Maybe some jogging would clear his mind for a bit, then he would return to Penfold to see how he's doing. But before he could even start jogging, he felt his body aching. It was nothing similar to Arachne-Tu's drugs that made his body ache even more than usual.

Nope. He cursed himself for pushing himself too far over the limits.

He remembered Penfold telling him that the cruise ship that they're on has a spa that could help him relax if he overdid himself or get bored really fast. According to Penfold, this spa that he kept talking about was said to be one of the best in cruise ship history. There's a fun fact there that this spa he kept talking about was the only spa on this cruise ship.

Yes. A spa is just what he needs to keep himself occupied for a while. After booking an appointment by phone, he sets off to find the spa.

When he got there, he couldn't help but admit that this was one of the most beautiful-looking spas he had ever seen in his life. Sure, the interior of the spa is based on a Japanese design (it's cliche and done to death already), but the aroma in the spa is just ... breathtaking. He could easily be put to sleep from just sniffing that aroma. He should really consider taking a holiday with Penfold more often. It like he's in heaven, being happily reunited with his father after years of being separated.

Since that spider ate him alive that cruel night.

He almost dreaded to remember that. For both Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck's sake, he pushed that dreadful thought aside as he walks up to the counter, waiting for service.

"Can I help you, sir?" The receptionist asked Danger Mouse when she makes her appearance. She happens to be a Chinese tree viper.

"Yes. I believe I've book an appointment for today, m'am." Danger Mouse replied.

"Name?"

"Danny O'Malley." Yes, the world's greatest secret agent has decided to use his real name for a change.

The receptionist checks the data on the computer for the name _Danny O'Malley._ She turns to Danger Mouse with a smile on her face. "Yes. I have you here at 3 o'clock, Mr. O'Malley."

The receptionist motions Danger Mouse to the waiting room not far from the counter. "Raul with be with you in a moment, Mr. O'Malley. Make yourself comfortable for now."

Just as Danger Mouse was going to go to the waiting room, he heard the receptionist say "Nice necklace you got there, Mr. O'Malley."

Danger Mouse wasted no time to look down and notices that same golden ankh necklace he's been wearing since the Arachne-Tu incident as he takes a seat in the waiting room. For some reason, he doesn't want to take it off. But at the same time, he wants to find out how and why he has that necklace in the first place.

"Danny O'Malley?"

His thoughts about the ankh were put on hold as he gets up from his seat and looks at the person whom he assumes was Raul calling his real name.

He was speechless.

Raul happens to be the same spider he was scared of at the beginning of episode 7 of the new series. The same spider that Penfold kicked out from HQ. The same spider that gave both Danger Mouse and Penfold a massage during the whole 'cure-Danger-Mouse-of-his-fear-of-spiders' montage in that same episode. The -

"We get it, bub!" the spider, Raul yelled at the narrator.

Rude.

Raul clears his throat before facing a speechless and nervous Danger Mouse. "Follow me to room 7, Mr. O'Malley. We will begin the treatment from there."

Danger Mouse said nothing as he follows Raul to room 7. He even saw other rooms full of customers getting their spa treatments, maybe getting too used to the treatment. He shutters after having to take a glimpse of one room where an American pig is being massaged by several female workers due to his massive body fats, and seeing the creepy yet pleased face of his.

Finally, they've reached room 7 where Raul slides the shoji doors open to let Danger Mouse go in first.

"Get yourself changed and let me know when you're ready." Raul informs Danger Moues as he gives him a clean, beige towel for him to use and slides the shoji doors closed, giving the one-eyed mouse some privacy.

His body starts to ache as he gets himself undressed, but not before putting the towel around his waist to prevent younger readers from seeing this. This is a **K+** rated fanfic for crying out loud. The only thing he didn't remove from himself is his iPatch and the golden amulet necklace that for some reason, he doesn't want to take it off.

He has been given a massage by Raul before, despite the latter being a spider. There's no need to be nervous about this for the second time. After all, Raul is quite the professional in the massage department.

He going to get through this. He's going to put his arachnophobia aside and get some well-deserved relaxation during this cruise.

For Penfold.

Even if it was a spider giving him the spa treatment.

So he slides the shoji doors open a little and pokes his head out to where Raul could see him.

"I'm ready."


	7. The Bahamas

If there's one thing that can actually keep him in a good mode, aside from facing deadly missions everyday in his life, is spending quality time with his loved ones.

After a long cruise from London to the Bahamas, and after Penfold's injured wrist is healed, he and Penfold wasted no time to get checked in to one of the Bahamas' hotel resorts and finally relax, without any villains or Baron Greenback trying to interrupt their vacation. Yet, being in the Bahamas reminds him so much of his ex-girlfriend, Fifi.

Of course, he couldn't remember the last time he spent quality time with Fifi. The reason they have to part ways and call off the marriage that they've been planning for months since college was because both of their jobs - their dream careers were taking away the majority of their free time together.

Danger Mouse would always have to be alert when a new mission arrives at anytime. Future missions, coming from Colonel K, are very unpredictable. Fifi is one of France's leading fashion designers, but hers is on a very tight schedule thanks to her popularity, so any chance of her and Danger Mouse spending time together is a rarity. They had no choice but to break up.

It was heartbreaking for the both of them to call off the marriage proposal and go on separate paths, but it's probably for the best.

And yet, there's a slight chance that they still have feelings for each other.

"Can we get on to the story already?" Penfold whined. "I don't want this fanfic to become one of those lovey-dovey romantic stories the fanfic writers are so obsessed about!"

Fine. I'll put the romantic aspect aside.

"Oh goody!"

As I was saying, Danger Mouse and Penfold are relaxing at one of the Bahamas' hotel resorts, a day after arriving at the Bahamas. For once there isn't a villain in sight, trying to, you guessed it, take over the world.

"Of course!" M. Bison from the _**Street Fighter**_ movie cried from out of nowhere.

Hang on a minute! This isn't the Nostalgia Critic review! You can't use that gag here!

Now where was I? Right! Danger Mouse and Penfold are relaxing at one of the Bahamas' hotel resorts, and for once there isn't a villain in sight, trying to take over the world.

"They must be on vacation as well." Penfold said to Danger Mouse.

"From the looks of it, they might as well be." Danger Mouse replied, having been relieved that the aching in his body has been toned down since Raul gave him a massage treatment while on a cruise. "I mean, what sort of people would they be if they turned down a chance to relax on a nice, sunny day like this?"

Penfold notices a spider bullying several tourists by taking all of their money and pinning the hotel workers at gunpoint. "How about an ugly looking spider robbing everyone of their well-earned cash right about now?"

"What?" Danger Mouse turns to where Penfold was looking and at that moment, he gasped.

"Is something wrong, Chief?" Penfold asked Danger Mouse after seeing a scared look on his face.

Danger Mouse couldn't answer as his only good eye is locked onto the spider robbing people of their money and valuables.

 _I-it couldn't be._ He thought.

That spider, gleefully robbing people of their money and pinning them at gunpoint with a sadistic smile on his face, was the spider that robbed the Bank of England, stole the family TV (thankfully, his mom bought a new TV the day after), and ate his father a long time ago. He had thought he seen the last of that spider since that dreadful night. He thought that spider would still be serving time in jail throughout all these years when the police did manage to arrest him shortly a few days after his father's death.

Cor, was he wrong about it.

And he still saw that same, ugly Cockney spider that ate his father and took the family TV. The spider's fur has the ugliest shade of brown anyone has ever saw. He wore a dirty traditional black-and-white stripped burglar shirt, a vomit green neckerchief around his neck and a black beret on his head. From the looks of it, that spider haven't had a bath for _months!_ Because of this, the smell coming out from him is more than enough to knock someone out cold upon taking a whiff.

A few tourists and workers were out cold from being exposed to the spider's bad hygiene.

"Phew! That spider smells horrible!" Penfold cried as he and Danger Mouse cover their noses from the spider's bad hygiene. "When was the last time he had a bath?"

"Oi! I heard that, you pathetic little runt!" the spider yelled at Penfold as he approaches the duo and points the gun at a scared Penfold.

"Don't you dare talk to Penfold like that!" Danger Mouse yelled at the spider while defending a teary-eyed Penfold.

The spider gives Penfold a slight scowl for (rightfully) insulting him earlier, but when he turns to face a slightly pissed-off Danger Mouse, he simply narrows his eyes and gives him a closer look while Danger Moues has to keep himself from breathing the spider's bad hygiene.

"Oi, you're that brat from that family of mice I've robbed years ago!" The spider glared at Danger Mouse who glared at him back. "Your TV stinks by the way! Doesn't have any cable."

"Eh?" a confused Penfold cried.

"And you're that same, slimy, heartless arachnid that killed my father years ago." Danger Mouse replied with an angry tone coming out from his mouth. "Since when did you last have a bath?"

"Stop taking about when I last had a bath!" The spider yelled again. "I have ... priorities to take care of while escaping from the cops."

He notices the spider standing on top of a carpet that leads to one of the hotel pools. This gives him an idea.

"Well why don't you take a swim for a bit, chap?" He tugs the carpet so that it causes the (slightly unaware) spider to trip and fall into a nearby pool, drenching him in cold water and, hopefully, wash away the bad hygiene. "It looks like you needed one badly."

"Cor, good one, Chief!" Penfold laughed at Danger Mouse's joke.

The spider realized too late that he can't swim, leaving the hotel security to get him out of the pool and being taken to police custody a few minutes later.

If neither of them had noticed, the tourists and the workers that haven't been knocked out from the spider's bad hygiene gave both Danger Mouse and Penfold an applaud. Although thanks to his ears, Danger Mouse heard the applaud coming from the other people who witnessed the entire thing.

He turns to Penfold sadly as they retreat to their hotel room. "I'm sorry if this holiday turned out to be a bust again, Penfold."

"Are you kidding, Chief?" Penfold replied happily. "This holiday's been a great one!"

But then he lets out a curious expression. "Er, Chief?"

"Hm?"

"How do you and that spider know each other?" Penfold asked.

Danger Mouse sighed.

"When I was a teenager." Danger Mouse answered. "It all started with the Bank of England, my parents, and the TV ..."


	8. Troq

He hated looking at himself in the mirror sometimes.

He hated seeing that hideous monster whose one eye looks back at him with a scowl on his face.

He hated having to see that wretched scar over his left eye.

He hated how it reminded him of a past memory where a big, teenage spider, who was a new student that moved from Liverpool and is as ugly as that Cockney spider that ate his father years ago, stabbed him in the eye with a pocket knife he smuggled into school grounds while still in high school, a month after his father's death.

He hated having to wear that plain, black eye-patch for the remainder of his high school years and for the rest of his life, although he ended up learning to appreciate the eye-patch for covering up that ugly scar of his.

He hated how that heartless spider convinced the majority of the school body that he was a weak, pathetic monster that shouldn't have any friends.

Danger Mouse remembered Penfold watching an old episode of the Teen Titans cartoon from America after coming home from an exhausting mission in Bombay, again, having to deal with another giant spider. What was the name of the episode?

Troq?

"Yep, that's the name of the episode I watched." Penfold cried. "It deals with racism and bullying."

Anyway, speaking of the episode Troq, he and Penfold remembered the episode where Starfire, an alien princess from the planet Tamaran whom Penfold used to have a crush on, was being bullied by another alien hero named Val-Yor, just because she's a Tamaranean. He remembered Penfold bawling his eyes out non-stop whenever there's a scene where Starfire tries so hard to help Val-Yor and the other Teen Titans with their mission, but all she received in the end were more hurtful words and torment from the ungrateful Val-You, whereas the other Teen Titans (except Cyborg) don't seem to realize what is really going on between Starfire and Val-Yor. There's even one tiny scene where Val-Yor was not only racist to Starfire, but also kinda sexist too, though he might have to look that episode up on the internet someday.

And he remembered Penfold bawling his eyes out even more when Starfire explains to Cyborg what Val-Yor really meant whenever he calls her ' _T_ _roq'._

Both he and Penfold listened to Starfire's explanation to Cyborg.

" _When Val-Yor calls me "Troq", he is saying that I am worthless, a nothing."_

 _"Star?"_ A hurt Cyborg cried.

" _There are those on other planets who feel that Tamaraneans are inferior. Troq is what they called us."_ Starfire continued.

" _So he's calling you a terrible name."_ Cyborg spoke again, now fully understanding what Starfire was talking about. " _And you know that if you punch him out, it'll just confirm all the bad stuff he thinks about you?"_

 _"Yes. You know what it feels like to be judged simply because of how you look?"_

 _"Of course I do."_

Both Danger Mouse and Penfold were expecting Cyborg to say, " _I'm black."_

Instead, Cyborg replied. " _I'm part robot."_

He remembered Penfold being a bit disappointed from that line. He was kinda disappointed too, but he have to give the writers of the episode credit for not using the ' _I'm black_ ' sentence in this episode for once. It's been done to death in some cartoons, and the line used in the episode was more powerful than what he and Penfold thought Cyborg was going to say earlier.

He then remembered the end of the episode, and how happy and disappointed Penfold was at that time. Happy because Val-Yor was called out for his cruel racism towards Starfire by the other Teen Titans who show that they cared about Starfire, but disappointed that Val-Yor will never change his opinion on Starfire's kind after the Teen Titans called him out and leaving Earth. He remembered the other Titans apologizing to Starfire for not noticing the sighs earlier.

And then, he remembered this quote, beautifully spoken by Starfire.

" _There is nothing you could've done. There will always be people who say means words because you are different. And sometimes, their minds cannot be changed. But there are many more people who do not judge others based on how they look or where they are from. Those are the people whose words truly matter."_

And honestly, that line, spoken by Starfire, was the most powerful line he had ever heard in his life.

And looking back to his high-school years when having to wear an eye-patch, he was actually glad that he didn't punch out the spider that stabbed his eye and other bullies that made fun of his eye-patch, thought he would've want to stand up for himself and punch them out to prove to others that he wasn't weak. If he did, that would conform all the bad stuff those bullies think about him - how he's a cold, heartless monster, and people would avoid him at all costs.

Of course he had some anger issues, and at the worst moment at the wrong place and at the wrong time, he would unintentionally lash them out onto not just the bullies that deserved it, but to innocent people as well, including his mother, by accident. He had his anger issue and inner securities under control after paying a visit to an ancient monk in the Himalayas for about three months. That monk happens to be a female Himalayan jumping spider, which, thanks to his recently-developed arachnophobia, scares the living daylights out of him so much that he passed out in front of her.

The monk had noticed his arachnophobia by reading his aura. When a 16-year old Danger Mouse came round, she assures the frightened young lad that she won't harm him and is not like the other spiders. Danger Mouse wasn't even racist or have negative thoughts about spiders to begin with, even after getting his arachnophobia.

He told the monk about the bullying that occurred after receiving an eye injury, but he also told the monk that this wasn't the first time the bullying had started. It stared when he was in kindergarten where he was the shortest and smallest student in the class, probably even shorter than Penfold. Due to his short status, many students picked on him and called him terrible names, all of them upsetting him and lowering his self-esteem. None of the children wanted to play with him because they believed he was a weak nuisance that would just get in the way. None of the girls at school liked him because of his small appearance. When puberty came in which he gets a serious growth sprout, not to mention a new-found confidence after having many heart-to-heart moments while playing various sports with his father throughout the years, the bullying died down, but he was still the shortest student in the class. He got really good grades on his report cards (including gym), and is really good at everything he does (including sports), but he knows he's not perfect and he's not too smug about his abilities.

The bullying resumed late in his high school years when the new student named Eric, a spider from Liverpool arrived and took an immediate hatred towards a 16-year old Danger Mouse. He realized early on that Eric was racist towards mice, which explains the hatred he and the other mice students have been getting from Eric.

Eric crossed the line when he smuggled a pocket knife on school grounds and threatened Danger Mouse to never make him think that he's a stupid moron after the math professor gave the students back their math tests. Danger Mouse happened to have another A on the test while Eric, who didn't study and would rather hang out with his new buddies all night long, got an F on the test. He lost his temper and his hatred towards Danger Mouse escalated when the math professor told Eric to be more like Danger Mouse (who was rather a modest fellow) when it comes to school work.

He tried telling Eric that he didn't mean to make him feel inferior, while not showing him the signs of his arachnophobia, but it did nothing to stop the bullying. Instead, a sadistic Eric stabbed him in the left-eye with his pocket knife, while telling a bleeding Danger Mouse that he and his kind are worthless beings who deserve to die. Unbeknownst to the both of the them, the math professor had witnessed everything. He got one of the teachers to escort Danger Mouse to the nurse's office while he dragged Eric to the principal's office and making a phone call to Danger Mouse's mother.

Ever since that day, Eric was placed in a five-week's suspension, whereas the damage on Danger Mouse's left eye (which has gone blind) seemed to be permanent by the time the nurse treated the wound. She told his mother that he would have to wear an eye-patch over his left eye for the rest of his life to hide that terrible scar of his.

The bullying caused by Eric would never stop, even after he got suspended for five weeks. It continued on till graduation where Danger Mouse won't have to worry about Eric constantly bullying him for the rest of his life. The last thing he heard from Eric is that he got expelled a month after that incident and was sent to an all-boys boarding school which does whatever it can to reduce Eric's nasty behavior and improve his grades. He haven't heard anything from him since.

When the monk asked a 16-year old Danger Mouse why he was scared of her the first time they've met, he nervously explained to her (without trying to hurt her feelings) that he had arachnophobia that occurred after witnessing his father being eaten alive by the ugly Cockney spider that robbed the Bank of England and stole the family TV.

She understood everything he told her. She told him that even though there will always be spiders that enjoy eating mice and view them as food or weak beings, there will always be spiders that don't view mice as food, but as people, as their equals.

They're the kinds of spiders whose words and actions truly matters.

And this is why Teen Titans, especially the episode "Troq" was one of Danger Mouse's favorite TV shows of all time.

And he didn't have to keep it a secret from Penfold.


	9. November 10th

So far he's been sleeping great since the professor told him to stop having late-night training sessions. No more recurring nightmares about him being eaten alive by a giant spider, thought it happens every once in a while, especially the Arachne-Tu incident.

That is until late at night where a dark memory of his replayed in his head while unconscious - the night his father was killed by the ugly Cockney spider who is still serving time in a maximum security prison after that fiasco in the Bahamas in chapter 7 where any chance of escaping is impossible.

Normally, he'd blocked that memory out for Penfold's sake. To ensure the innocent assistant that he is alright which should reduce the worrying.

But that memory didn't play in his head for no reason at all.

That day was approaching.

November 10th.

The anniversary of his father's death.

Both Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck may not know this, but every year, on November 10th, Danger Mouse would go to the cemetery alone to visit his father's grave. His mother was too distraught to go to the cemetery, leaving him to go to the cemetery alone. Both Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck assumed that he was only going for a short drive, to help take his mind off of stressful thoughts he's been having lately. But Penfold is starting to think otherwise.

Why would his best friend be taking a short drive on this particular day, every year? On November 10th? There has to be a reason behind this.

Without Danger Mouse's knowledge, Penfold quietly slips into the back seats of the Mark 4 and hid under the seats before Danger Mouse arrives to start the ignition. As the Mark 4 drives on from HQ, Penfold could see the heartbroken expression his friend is wearing as Danger Mouse thinks back at the dreadful night, when the Cockney spider ate his father alive and stole the TV.

He thought the police would never find his father's body when the Cockney spider made the getaway. He thought that the body would'v been digested and disposed of, giving the police little chance of retrieving the body. Man, was he wrong about that. The police found the body, but not the Cockney spider that got away with the TV. To be honest, the family were meaning to get a new TV with cable at some point in their lives, but Danger Mouse does not care about the TV.

All he cares about is his father.

The guy that helped him find his confidence when he is feeling down. The guy that told a depressed Danger Mouse time after time that he's not a weak, pathetic nuisance the other children at school say about him. The guy that told Danger Mouse that he was his strong champion in his eyes. The guy that told Danger Mouse that the harsh, cruel words of other people don't matter to him.

The guy that told Danger Mouse that he was his rare gem.

The ambulance arrived to take his father's body to the hospital, hoping to still have a chance to save him. But the police and the doctors sadly informed a worried Danger Mouse and his mother that he died shortly before the doctors could help him.

His father died on November 10th at 9:55 PM, just five minutes away from 10 o'clock. His father's funeral took place a week after this cruel, dreadful night.

Penfold couldn't take his eyes off of a seemingly grieving Danger Mouse throughout the entire ride. What was making his best friend feel down like this?

His answer came when the Mark 4 stops in front of a cemetery. Suddenly, he felt the cold chills running up to his spines.

Oh how he hated those spooky cemeteries that you see in many horror films. How things go bump in the night when no one's watching. How the temperature's very cold and unsettling. How there could be secret evil cults performing a ritual in one of the stone tombs. How there could be vicious monsters or undead zombies lurking in the night, searching for unsuspected, innocent victims to devour in silence. How-

"Alright, I get it!" Penfold yelled at the narrator.

Penfold, you do realized that you've just gave away yourself to Danger Mouse?

"Oh ick!" A terrified Penfold cried.

"Penfold?" Danger Mouse's voice cried.

"Er ..." Penfold sees a bewildered Danger Mouse looking at him. He was already out of the Mark 4, and it seems that he's still wearing that golden ankh necklace. "Hello, Chief."

"What are you doing here?" Danger Mouse asked Penfold. "I thought you'd be playing **_Giraffe Warrior_** at HQ."

"I was, DM." Penfold replied as he too gets out of the Mark 4. "But then a thought occurred to me when you were about to leave for a bit."

Danger Mouse raised an eyebrow a little. "What thought?"

"Well, it seems that you've been going out for a short drive every year on November 10th." Penfold explained with such concern. "DM, I'm your friend, aren't I?"

"Penfold, you're one of my closest friends." Danger Mouse replied. "You're like a little brother to me."

Penfold takes a deep breath. "DM, ever since the whole World Wide Spider incident (which is episode 7 of the new series), ever since you told me about your ... er ... your ..."

"My ..." Danger Mouse paused for a moment. "My fear of spiders?"

"Yes! That's the one I'm looking for!" Penfold cried. "Ever since you told me about your fear of spiders (which I found out right at the beginning), I ... I just got this feeling that ... that ... that you don't seem to trust me, the professor or Colonel K sometimes."

A guilty look takes over Danger Mouse's face. "Penfold ..."

"I've been told over and over again that best friends don't keep secrets from each other." Penfold continued. "Do you not trust me enough to know what's going on with my best friend? Do I not have the right to be constantly worried about your safety and well-being on November 10th?"

"Penfold." Danger Mouse spoke again. "The reason I didn't tell you, the professor or Colonel K about what I was really doing on November 10th was because this was personal to me. It's something I needed to do alone."

"Then what's so personal about the fact that you're going to the cemetery alone?" Penfold questions his best friend before any nervous thoughts took over his mind. "Is it a deep, dark secret that no one knows about? Is that terrible toad, Baron Greenback forcing you to do something terrible at the cemetery once a year? Did you join the evil cult that summons demons? Or are the evil cult sacrificing you to their demon lords this year and they're making you not tell us that?"

Penfold got to his knees and hug Danger Mouse's leg tight, not bothering to let his friend go. "Please say it isn't so!"

"Penfold, no one's going to sacrifice me to their demon lords. They can keep on dreaming about that." Danger Mouse replied, gently pulling Penfold off of his legs and set him on the ground. "I'm going to see my father."

Penfold blinked. He's sure he heard that right. "Your father? But I thought he was dead. How can he be alive if he's already dead?"

Danger Mouse chuckled. "No, Penfold. When I say I'm going to see my father, I don't mean I'm going to literally see my father, eye-to-eye. What I actually mean, Penfold, is that I'm going to visit my father's grave."

"Er ... won't that make you go insane or something, DM?" Penfold asked again as he and Danger Mouse walk through the cemetery. "Talking to your father's grave?"

"No, talking to my father's grave while paying my respects for him once a year isn't going to make me go insane." Danger Mouse replied. "It's completely normal."

After a couple more walks in the cemetery, Danger Mouse and Penfold came to a stop.

"Well, here we are, Penfold."

Both Danger Mouse and Penfold see a simple grave. Nothing too fancy, or expensive. On the headstone, these words were imprinted;

 _ **In Loving Memory:**_

 _ **Scott C. O'Malley**_

 ** _Loving husband and father_**

"So this is your father's grave?" Penfold asked Danger Mouse as the later places a rose on the grave. "I thought it'd be more elaborate since you're the world's greatest secret agent."

"I thought Jeopardy Mouse's the world's greatest secret agent, Penfold."

"Well, you're pretty much the best in my opinion, Chief." Penfold looks at the grave again. "Do you ever wonder how proud your father would be if he found out that his only son grew up to be the world's greatest secret agent?"

Danger Mouse looks up into the cloudy skies. A small ray of sunlight gleams over the cemetery. "I may not see him anymore, but I've got this feeling that he's watching us from up there with a smile on his face, while smoking from a golden pipe."

* * *

 _ **NOTE: I didn't add the dates in Danger Mouse's father's tombstone (his birth date and his death date) because I'm still unclear on how old Danger Mouse and Penfold are supposed to be in the series (both original and the reboot). I'm leaving the dates for interpretations.**_


	10. Better When I'm Dancing

Christmastime in London.

It's really hard to explain what exactly is the true meaning of Christmas. A majority of them say that Christmas is the time for family, to forgive and forget those that have harmed or wronged you in the past, the time to be kind and generous to others, though sometimes, it can be very annoying and some parents used that excuse a lot to get their children to be 100% kind and generous to others, expecting them to not think about themselves and their individualities and blindly obey them all the time like mini-servants.

That is NOT how parenting goes, mind you!

To children however, Christmas is the time for presents, see what kind of toys they received from Santa Claus if they have been good this year. To them, the time to be 100% kind and generous to others and thinking about family is not all that important to them, of course, if you happen to be a rich, spoiled brat.

You don't need to be 100% kind and generous to others just to feel good about yourself, or to prove others that you're not a scrooge. The idea of being kind and generous is entirely based on your actions, not your parents', not your friends', just your action and yours alone.

Twas a week before Christmas, a week before Danger Mouse saved Santa Claus from the evil Snowman that almost destroyed Christmas, where Danger Mouse and Penfold are busy decorating their flat with Christmas decorations and putting the Christmas ornaments on the ever-so-large fake Christmas tree, because Professor Squawkencluck would make suck a huge fuss if she sees a lot of pine needles scattered all over HQ should Danger Mouse and Penfold use a real pine tree.

So while Danger Mouse and Penfold are busy putting the final touches on the Christmas tree, Professor Squawkencluck enters the main room with an envelope on hand. "Danger Mouse, you got mail."

"From one of my relatives?" Danger Mouse asked the professor. "It better not be from Uncle Patrick."

Usually during the holidays, Danger Mouse is fairly neutral when it comes to receiving a lot of mail from his relatives, especially his mother, but the ones he gets annoyed at the most were the ones coming from Uncle Patrick - his mother's brother. Every year it's the same - Uncle Patrick sends Danger Mouse a letter, asking him for lots of money, Danger Mouse turns down the request, knowing fully well that he'll spend the money on vodka and cigarettes the instant he gets his hands on the money. It's a good thing he didn't mention the fact that Penfold's family are super rich to Uncle Patrick, else Uncle Patrick would use Penfold as a weapon to get Danger Mouse to lend him money.

He understands the whole 'be kind and generous to others' lesson, and he's not being a scrooge here, but he couldn't give money to Uncle Patrick, even if Uncle Patrick decided to use the guilt-trip method on him. It never works on him. It may work on morons, but Danger Mouse is far too smart to fall for his uncle's lies.

"Nope, it's from the principal at your old high school - Cosgrove Hall High School." Professor Squawkencluck replied. "Apparently, there's going to be a high school reunion on Saturday. Oh, and it says here that you can bring your friends to the reunion."

A high school reunion? Danger Mouse hasn't been in high school since he graduated a year earlier than his peers and went to various colleges like Cambridge, Oxford, Harvard, the Sorbonne and Wurtembery. As far as he can remember from his high school years, he remembered the constant bullying he gets from others due to his small size and the eyepatch he had to wear over his left eye, and the spider Eric, the new student from Liverpool who is racist towards mice, hates Danger Mouse's guts and was the one responsible for injuring his left eye.

Fifi didn't go to Cosgrove Hall High. Danger Mouse had met her during his early college years.

Sometimes, he wonders what some of the other students will think of him when they realizes that the mouse they picked on in the past grew up to be the world's greatest secret agent?

"Oh, can we go to the reunion, Chief? Can we?" Penfold pleaded Danger Mouse, loving the idea of going to Danger Mouse's high school reunion with Danger Mouse. "Can we?"

What if there's a chance that Eric might show up at the reunion, still being racist towards mice and still hating his guts? What if Eric spots Penfold and starts feeding the naive hamster lies about Danger Mouse's teen years, hoping to bring misery to the one-eyed mouse?

Then he remembered the spider being expelled from school, a month after stabbing his left eye with a knife, all because of a failing grade on a math test. Thinking about it now, it was utterly ridiculous.

Then again, Eric probably didn't get the invite because he was expelled and would rather spend his Saturdays drinking and hanging out with his buddies and being a total pain in the butt to everyone. Though the all-boys boarding school he had to go to may have changed his attitude a little, so that could be a good sign.

He knew that he would never forgive Eric for what he had done to him. But this Christmas, maybe he might find it in his heart to forgive the spider that injured his eye, put all of that in the past and start fresh?

The only way to find the answer is by going to the high school reunion.

"Alright, Penfold." Danger Mouse informed Penfold. "We'll go to the reunion on Saturday."

"Yes!" was all Penfold shouted as he jumps up and down in joy.

()()()()()

Saturday came finally as Danger Mouse and Penfold, each wearing stunning black tuxedos are piloting the Mark 4 in the skies, heading to Cosgrove Hall High School in the evening, but having come late than usual because Danger Mouse had to stop Baron Greenback from melting Antarctica with a gigantic heat ray.

"It's a good think we weren't wearing our tuxes when we had to stop that terrible toad." Penfold spoke to Danger Mouse.

"What makes you say that?" Danger Mouse asked Penfold.

"If we have been wearing our tuxes while stopping Greenback, we would've suffocated to death in our tuxes from the boiling heat coming from the baron's heat ray." Penfold replied before giving a chuckle.

Danger Mouse rolled his eyes, but understands what Penfold is saying. "Well that makes kind sense. Now hang on, I'm putting the Mark 4 down."

The wings of the Mark 4 retreat as the car lands and hits the pavement of the road in which it bounces a few times before pulling up to the school's parking lot where Danger Mouse parks it at an available spot.

Already, he heard people talking amongst themselves just after he and Penfold arrived.

"Who would've guessed that he used to go to our high school?" One of the former students muttered.

"That idea alone is so cool." Another one muttered. "I'd totally be friends with him if that was proven true."

"I wonder if he was the popular guy during his teen years." Another one, possibly someone that didn't go to this high school, muttered.

The talking continued, but gradually died down as Danger Mouse and Penfold walk up the steps of the school's main entrance and followed the other former students and teachers of this high school to the big school gym where the reunion is taking place.

Danger Mouse and Penfold could see former students scattered around the gum, sharing conversations with each others. He could even hear the song "Better When I'm Dancing" by Meghan Trainor playing in the background. Penfold immediately recognized it as a familiar music he heard from _**The Peanuts Movie.**_ Some of the guests were even dancing to that music.

 _Don't think about it_  
 _Just move your body  
Listen to the music  
Sing, oh, aye, oh_

 _Just move those left feet  
Go ahead, get crazy  
Anyone can do it  
Sing, oh, aye oh_

Danger Mouse could see some familiar faces he remembered from his teen years, which is kinda ironic since he grew up with having little to no friends until he met Penfold a comic-con when he was 17 and Penfold was 12. Since then, Penfold had been his only friend.

The majority of the guests stopped talking and stared at Danger Mouse and Penfold when they entered the gym. Some started to whisper to one another.

 _Show the world you've got that fire  
_ _Feel the rhythm getting louder  
_ _Show the room what you can do  
_ _Prove to them you got the moves  
_ _I don't know about you_

 _But I feel better when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah  
Better when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah  
And we can do this together  
I bet you feel better when you're dancing, yeah yeah._

"Is he who I think it is?" One of the students asked.

"Can it be?" Another one asked.

Penfold was starting to feel nervous about this. "Um, chief?"

"Yes, Penfold?" Danger Mouse replied.

"Why is everybody staring at us?"

For once, Danger Mouse couldn't give Penfold an exact answer. Even he doesn't know why everybody is staring at him and Penfold. Was it something they wore? Did they do something that might've upset them?

Was it because they saw Danger Mouse, the world's greatest secret agent, at their high-school reunion, and were _shocked_ to see him there?

That, my friend, is correct.

"Estella, you never told me Danger Mouse used to go to _this_ school." One of the former students, a male spider with black fur and his hair gelled in a 50's bad boy hairdo, informed one of the female guests. "That guy's awesome, and I'd totally be friends with him if that was proven true."

Estella? The most popular girl in school during his teen days whom he used to have a massive crush on was _here?_

Yes, Estella. When Danger Mouse was a young teenager at the mere age of 16, right before Eric arrived, and before he met Fifi, he used to have a massive, not-so-secret crush on the pretty blonde mouse, Estella. She was one of the high school cheerleaders and one of the prettiest and most popular girls in school. He though he would have the chance to be with Estella, but it was not meant to be. Sure she was one of the few students that was actually nice to him, but whenever he had the chance to try to talk to her and tell her how he felt about her, some random jerk or unfortunate event kept destroying his chances of getting close to Estella. It became worse after Eric injured his left eye and had to wear an eyepatch for the rest of his life. Estella wouldn't even talk to him without trying to hurt his feelings like the other students expected her too. Even worse, his chances of ever being with her was _destroyed_ for good when he heard that she got hooked up with someone else. He has no idea _who_ Estella was dating. Because of that, he had no choice but to give up on Estella and moved on with his life, to save himself from being turned into a creepy stalker.

 _When you finally let go  
_ _And you slay that solo  
_ _Cause you listen to the music  
Sing, oh, aye, oh_

 _Cause you're confident, babe  
And you make your hips sway  
We knew that you could do it  
Sing, oh, aye, oh_

He'd never knew that the one guy Estella is dating would be the one thing he is deathly afraid of - a spider. He sees the black spider. wearing a navy blue tuxedo specially made just for spiders, talking to the blonde, female mouse, definitely Estella all grown-up, looking lovely as usual in her sparkling red dress.

Wait. Why does the spider's black fur and hazel eyes look familiar to him? Where has he seen them before?

 _His fur is the same shade of black as Eric's._ Danger Mouse thought. _Same with the hazel eyes._

Could this mean that the spider Estella is dating is his once-tormentor, Eric? If that's the case, then why is he having a fun time with Estella despite the fact that he was racist towards mice?

It _has_ to be some sort of trick. Eric is probably using Estella to hurt Danger Mouse even more, if somehow that spider had already figured out that the world's greatest secret agent was once a small, weak mouse with a not-so-secret crush on one of the popular girls. If hurting him physically doesn't destroy him in the past, then hurting him _mentally_ in the present might just do the trick.

 _Show the world you've got that fire  
_ _Feel the rhythm getting louder  
_ _Show the room what you can do  
_ _Prove to them you got the moves  
_ _I don't know about you_

 _But I feel better when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah  
Better when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah  
And we can do this together  
I bet you feel better when you're dancing, yeah yeah._

Besides, Danger Mouse had moved on ever since he graduated. Maybe Eric had decided to do the same and tried to start fresh. If Conway and Natasha were able to start fresh after coming clean with their schemes to get a hold of Penfold's family fortune on his wedding day, then it wouldn't hurt Eric to do the same.

But then again, what if the spider _isn't_ Eric? What if it was someone else?

"C'mon, Chief, the song's still playing!" Penfold cried as he tries to get the one-eyed secret agent to dance with him on the dance floor. "Try to lighten up a little."

Before he knew it, Danger Mouse finds himself dancing with not just Penfold, but everyone else on the dance floor as "Better When I'm Dancing" is still playing. Sure he was having a blast dancing with Penfold, but he could never keep his eye off of Estella and the spider whom he thought would be Eric all grown up.

 _I feel better when I'm dancing  
_ _I'm better when I'm dancing, aye, oh aye oh_

 _Feel batter when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah  
Better when I'm dancing, yeah, yeah  
Don't you know  
We can do this together  
Bet you feel better when you're dancing, yeah, yeah_

 _I feel better when I'm dancing  
I'm better when I'm dancing, hey  
Feel better when I'm, yeah yeah_

The song ended and everybody stopped dancing for a moment, before another song began to play in the background. Penfold immediately recognized it as a familiar song he heard from the anime show **_Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt._** The song was called "Chocolat" by TeddyLoid and Mariya Ise. Danger Mouse's good eye is still fixed onto Estella and the spider as he and Penfold kept on dancing with the others.

 _I see you before me, you see me before you  
_ _Never thought that I'd fall in love with you  
_ _I will take your soul if you take my heart  
_ _Fly away together, far away forever_

He saw Estelle and the spider dancing together. From the looks of it, they seemed ... happy together.

One part of him wanted to walk up to the couple, push the spider aside and share a dance with Estella, like he always wanted.

 _Chocolat, chocolat, you make me feel  
Chocolat, chocolat, so sweet and pure  
Chocolat, chocolat, I'll wear the ring forever_

But the other part of him decided not to. Just leave them be. They seemed genuinely happy together.

 _Chocolat, chocolat, you make me feel  
Chocolat, chocolat, so sweet and pure  
Chocolat, chocolat, I'll wear the ring  
So take me to heaven or hell, I don't care where._

And besides, even if the spider Estella is with really is Eric, he wouldn't want to make Estella, or any other lady upset and be the bad guy in this situation.

Maybe ... after all these years, Estella really didn't feel the same away about him, even if he ended up having a good life. Come to think of it, he rarely thought about Estella over the years since he left high school and fell in love with Fifi.

Fifi meant the world to him, even if they're not together anymore. Estella was just some popular girl he used to have a crush on in high school. Every high school boy is bound to have a crush on a popular girl, and in the end, it'll never work out like in fairytales. On one hand, the boy would put that small crush aside and do something with his life. On the other hand, he wouldn't move on and spend the rest of his life stalking the girl he had a crush on, up to the point where he could be arrested for harassing her.

So Danger Mouse decided to let Estella and the spider be and let them be happy together as he and Penfold continued on dancing on the dance floor.


	11. Danger Mouse and Penfold in Broadway

_**A/N: This is based on the Simpsons episode "A Fish Called Selma", more specifically, the Dr. Zaius musical scene, some bits from the Oh, Streetcar! scene from the episode "A Streetcar Named Marge", and some songs borrowed from Disney's "The Lion King", especially the opening song. Oh, as for its Zulu opening, I'm NOT going to bother trying to translate or rewrite it to something else.**_

 _ **Rest in peace, Phil Hartman, the voice of Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure.**_

* * *

New York, home of the Statue of Liberty, the Times Square, Central Park, the Empire State Building, Broadway, and the former home of the infamous World Trade Center, destroyed during the terrible 911 terrorist attack! *phone rings* Hello? Uh-huh. Oh, I get it. Can't say that in a fanfiction? Mmm-hmm. People might get angry at us for mentioning 911? Mmm-hmm. I see. Yes sir. Goodbye sir. *phone replaced on cradle*

Ahem.

It seems that I _still_ can't mention any 911 stuff on a fanfiction, even after **_A Better Love Story Than Twilight_** had ended.

While we're on the subject of New York, it makes me want to sing the " _Theme from New York, New York"_ song, though granted I have already done that in _**A Better Love Story Than Twilight,**_ but I just can't help myself!

 _Start spreading the news  
I am leaving today_  
 _I want to be a part of it_  
 _New York, New York_

 _These vagabond shoes_  
 _Are longing to stray_  
 _Right through the very heart of it_  
 _New York, New York_

 _I want to wake up in a city_  
 _That doesn't sleep_  
 _And find I'm king of the hill_  
 _Top of the heap_

 _These little town blues_  
 _Are melting away_  
 _I'll make a brand new start of it_  
 _In old New York_

 _If I can make it there_  
 _I'll make it anywhere_  
 _It's up to you_  
 _New York, New York_

 _"_ Chief, I think the narrator's having too much fun with this." Penfold spoke to Danger Mouse who is piloting the Mark 4 in the starry skies of New York, both wearing black tuxedos.

I say, what is Danger Mouse, the world's greatest secret agent, and Penfold, the world's not-so-useless assistant doing in New York?

"We're going to see a Broadway." Penfold replied to the narrator. "Fifi gave us tickets to see this exciting Broadway musical called _**Stop the Planet of the Spiders, I Want to Get Off!"**_

"You mean she gave _you_ a ticket?" Danger Mouse replied with a raised eyebrow. "Fifi needed me to do her a favor."

Penfold raised his eyebrows, getting a bit suspicious. "What kind of favor did she asked you to do?"

"If it's what you think it is, no it's not it." Danger Mouse replied. "You got to lay off those South Park and Family Guy episodes. This is a **K+** rated fanfiction. Now hang on, I'm putting the Mark 4 down right now."

The wings of the Mark 4 retreat as the car lands and hits the pavement of the road in which it bounces a few times before pulling up to an available parking spot near a Broadway theater and Danger Mouse parks it. The could see a huge crowd of people wearing their best outfits, lined up to get inside the theater.

"Cor, who knew Broadway would be _that_ popular." Penfold spoke.

Danger Mouse looks at Penfold funny as the duo got out of the car. "Penfold, you _grew_ up in New York. How would you not know about Broadway?"

Penfold lowers his head. "Let's just say that Auntie Doreen thinks that Broadway and other show businesses are not good for a wealthy family like the Penfolds, and that it's a waste of time."

"She'll get over it eventually." Danger Mouse replied. "She's getting better since the whole wedding scheme done by your treacherous cousin Alexander."

"Ex-cousin, DM." Penfold corrects his friends as they enter the theater with other people. "My father disowned him when the wedding's called off, remember."

"Right." Danger Mouse noticed a female cat with beige fur, a beauty mark under her left eye and a curly bang that also hangs over her left eye, from a distance. She wore a long-sleeved striped shirt under a yellow bandanna, a pair of black leggings, a pair of white boots and a black beret wore on top of her head.

He looks at Penfold. "Look, Penfold. I told Fifi I'd meet up with her shortly to do her a favor."

"What will I do then while you're gone?" Penfold asked. "You're not going to miss the show, are you?"

"Penfold, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll be there where you're least suspected." Danger Mouse replied as he hugs Penfold before leaving him. "Enjoy the show."

Penfold watched as Danger Mouse meets up with the beige cat and then sees the two of them disappear into the crowd. Taking Danger Mouse's advice, Penfold went looking for his seat.

He couldn't believe that the theater would be _packed._ He was so lost in the crowd that he accidentally bumped into someone. It was a male crow who wore a teal tuxedo and is with a female crow with long brown hair and wore a simple pink, long-sleeved gown.

"Sorry."

"Eh, watch it a-next time!" The male crow yelled at Penfold as he turns to him, allowing Penfold to see his face.

Penfold gasped.

"Stiletto!" Penfold cried in shock at the male crow, Stiletto before turning to the female crow in confusion. "Er... who are you, m'am?"

"Fedora." the female crow, Fedora replied. "You might remember me from such fanfictions like _**A Better Love Story Than Twilight**_ and chapter 38 of **_Tales From Norrisville._** "

"I'll keep that in mind." Penfold replied.

"Not a-word to ze Danger Mouse, Penfold." an angry Stiletto warns Penfold. "Got it?"

"Dully noted." Penfold replied nervously as he, Stiletto and Fedora find seats in the ever-so-large theater stage where everyone has already taken their seats.

Penfold scans the large room for any signs of Danger Mouse. He said he'll be here watching the show with him. He kept looking and looking, but he didn't see the one-eye mouse just as the curtains rolled up, indicating that the show's about to start.

"Oh ick!" Penfold cried as the noise died down.

"Quiet, Penfold." A female voice whispers to the hamster.

Penfold turns to his right and saw Jeopardy Mouse sitting next to him, wearing her lovely magenta gown. "Jeopardy Mouse?"

"It's starting." Jeopardy Mouse whispers back. "Quiet."

Coming up on stage was a familiar-looking box turtle who wore very large glasses that are quite larger than Penfold's, a red bowtie around his neck and the traditional narrator costume such a a black suit and a top hat. Behind the turtle was a cardboard cutout of a huge spaceship. He seems to be confined to a wheelchair as he began to sing.

 ** _Turtle Narrator:_** _Long ago in 1972  
_ _Where the spaceship makes a depart  
_ _Four astronauts are in a deep slumber  
While traveling to an unknown land_

The turtle narrator exits stage left as he cardboard cutout of a spaceship turns around where the audience now see a cardboard cutout of an exotic, out-of-this-world land where they see spider actors doing their parts in the play as a new song plays and as the lighting of the stage makes it look it the scene is taking place early in the morning and giving the audience the illusion that the sun is rising.

 _Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba  
Sithi uhm ingonyama  
_ _Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba  
Sithi uhm ingonyama  
_ _Ingonyama  
Suyi Nquoba  
Ingonyama  
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala_

The last line of the first verse kept repeating as the scenery grows brighter and the spider actors start acting like they're a group of strange citizens doing their daily routines in a faraway place while repeatedly chanting the last line of the first verse as the song continues.

 _From the day we arrive on the planet  
And blinking, step into the sun_  
 _There's more to see than can ever be seen_  
 _More to do than can ever be done_  
 _There's far too much to take in here_  
 _More to find than can ever be found_  
 _But the sun rolling high_  
 _Through the sapphire sky_  
 _Keeps great and small on the endless round_

The scene than changes from the spider citizens doing their daily routines to the scene where all the spiders gather round before the king of the spiders who is standing on a balcony of a castle prop.

 ** _Spider actors:_** _It's the Circle of Life  
_ _And it moves us all  
Through despair and hope  
Through faith and love  
Till we find our place  
On the path unwinding  
In the Circle  
The Circle of Life_

One of the spider actors, a female Himalayan jumping spider made her way through the spider crowd and approaches the spider king by climbing up the balcony. Both spiders embrace in a hug before the spider king retreats inside for a moment (actually the instrumental moment of the song) before coming out with the spider queen and the newborn spider.

The spider queen gives the Himalayan jumping spider the newborn spider and holds it up in the air for the spider citizens to see as a ray of light shines upon it while the song continues.

 ** _Spider actors:_** _It's the Circle of Life  
_ _And it moves us all  
Through despair and hope  
Through faith and love  
Till we find our place  
On the path unwinding  
In the Circle  
The Circle of Life_

The audience cheered when the opening song's over. Penfold finds himself cheering with the audience.

"Crikey, what an opening!" Penfold cried.

"That's just the beginning, Penfold." Jeopardy Mouse replied. "There's more coming."

He takes another look around the room, and yet Danger Mouse still hasn't showed up.

"I wonder what's keeping Danger Mouse." Penfold muttered.

Jeopardy Mouse turns to Penfold. "Probably went on another mission or something. I highly doubt he would enjoy Broadway if he could give it a chance."

Penfold said nothing as he watch the play continue. With or without Danger Mouse.

()()()()()

A few minutes have passed and Danger Mouse _still_ hasn't come.

 _Where could he be?_ Penfold wondered as he shifts his focus into the play. It is now at a scene where a group of spider villagers, even the female Himalayan jumping spider from the opening is in the group, watched as two spider guards apprehend a mouse astronaut who looks _exactly_ like Danger Mouse - the same fur color, the same eyepatch over the same eye, everything being _identical_ to Danger Mouse.

Is it possible that this mouse actor is Danger Mouse?

"Help!" The third spider guard cried as he witnessed the mouse struggling to get himself free from the two spider guards apprehending him. "The mouse is about to escape!"

"Get your hands of me, you arachnid!" the mouse astronaut cried as he gets himself free.

The spiders gasped. Penfold gasped too.

The mouse astronaut's voice is _exactly_ like Danger Mouse's own voice.

"He can talk!" One of the spider guards cried.

 _Crikey! It's Danger Mouse playing the lead!_ Penfold thought as he realizes that the role of the mouse astronaut is played by no other than Danger Mouse himself.

 ** _Spiders:_** _He can talk!  
_ _He can talk!  
_ _He can talk!  
_ _He can talk!  
_ _He can talk!  
_ _He can talk!_

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _I can sing!_

 _"_ Ooh, help me, Dr. Spidus!" A female black-widow spider, dressed as a nurse clings onto the female Himalayan jumping spider who is now revealed to be Dr. Spidus as the song began to play.

 _ **Spiders:**_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
Oh, Dr. Spidus!_

 ** _Spider villager 1:_** _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!_

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _What's wrong with me?_

 ** _Dr. Spidus:_** _You crashed in our land._

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _Did I break any bones?_

 ** _Dr. Spidus:_** _Absolutely not!_

The spider villagers circle around Dr. Spidus.

 _ **Spiders:**_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
Oh, Dr. Spidus!_

 ** _Spider villager 1:_** _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!_

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _Can I play the piano anymore?_

 ** _Dr. Spidus:_** _Of course you can._

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _Well, I couldn't before._

A piano has been rolled into the stage as the mouse astronaut plays the piano beautifully.

 _ **Spiders:**_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
Oh, Dr. Spidus!_

 ** _Spider villager 1:_** _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!_

 _ **Spiders:**_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
_ _Dr. Spidus! Dr. Spidus!  
Oh, Dr. Spidus!_

"This play has everything." Penfold said happily. "I'm glad Danger Mouse is alright."

"Oh, I love legitimate theater." Stiletto also said happily.

()()()()()

A few scenes later, Penfold sees the scene where a female spider meets up with a blonde, female mouse only wearing what looks like a prehistoric bikini.

"What's the matter, mousey, are you lost?" The female spider asked the female mouse.

"I'm looking for the Weaver to fix the princess's gown." the female mouse replied.

 _It's Estella, DM's former crush!_ Penfold thought, realizing that the female mouse in this scene is played by Danger Mouse's former crush, Estella.

"My name is Nala Jane." the female mouse, now revealed to be named Nala Jane in the play replied as a slow song plays.

 _ **Nala Jane:**_ _I thought my life would be the Bare Necessities  
A never-ending party...  
_

 _Ha!_

 _I'm a primitive rodent  
Without a life._

()()()()()

Two to three scenes later, Penfold sees the scene where the mouse astronaut enters the royal spider palace to find the spider Princess Arachnia, only to find her mouse slave Nala Jane sweeping the floors instead.

"I'm here to see Princess Arachnia." the mouse astronaut said to Nala Jane.

"Come here, I wanna kiss you just once." Nala Jane replied to the mouse astronaut (Danger Mouse) in a seductive voice. "Softly and sweetly on your mouth."

The song began to play as the mouse astronaut walks towards the edge of the stage.

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _I am just a simple astronaut  
No romance do I seek._  
 _I just wanted a spaceship_  
 _To get back home on Earth very soon.  
_

The mouse astronaut turns to Nala Jane briefly before continuing singing.

 _ **Mouse Astronaut:** Will this bewitching rodent_  
 _Seduce this humble space mouse?_  
 _Oh what's an astronaut to... do?_

When the song ends, Nala Jane pulls the mouse astronaut close to her as she kisses him.

"Woo-hoo!" The mouse astronaut cried in joy.

Penfold had to admit that that line, even if it was on the script or not, was a bit funny.

()()()()()

A couple of scenes later, Penfold now witnesses the scene where an evil scorpion (in which Penfold learns that his name was Jafar) is in his secret lair - the dark caves of the planet with only the green lights illuminating the caves where he is met with three cellar spiders whom Penfold learn that they're the bumbling comic reliefs of the villain, and another scorpion acting out as Jafar's right-hand scorpion (Penfold later learns that the scorpion's name is Tom)

"I never thought cellar spiders essential." The scorpion, Jafar spoke to Tom when the three cellar spiders aren't looking. "They're crude and unspeakably plain."

Tom looks at the cellar spiders with an evil grin on his face. "But maybe they've a glimmer of potential, if allied to you vision and brain."

"So how are we going to get the throne of Spiderland, Jafar?" One of the cellar spiders asked Jafar. "Kill King Parker, marry Princess Arachnia and then execute the mouse astronaut from another planet?"

Jafar grinned as the song began to start. Green smokes started coming out from under the floorboards. "Precisely."

 _ **Jafar:** I know that your powers of retention_  
 _Are as wet as a rodent's backside_  
 _But thick as you are, pay attention_  
 _My words are a matter of pride._

 _It's clear from you vacant expression  
The lights are not all on upstairs  
But we're talking kings and successions._

Tom witnesses the three cellar spiders laughing.

 ** _Tom:_** _Even you can't be caught unawares!_

"Yikes!" the three cellar spiders shrieked.

 _ **Jafar:** So prepare for a chance of a lifetime_  
 _Be prepared for sensational news_  
 _A shining new era_  
 _Is tiptoeing nearer_

 ** _Cellar Spider 1:_** _And where do we feature?_

 ** _Tom:_** _Just listen to teacher!_

 ** _Jafar:_** _I know it sounds sordid  
_ _But you'll be rewarded  
When at last we are given our dues  
And injustice deliciously squared  
Be prepared!_

"Yeah, be prepared! We'll be prepared!" One of the cellar spider cried. "For what?"

"For the death of the king!" Jafar replied.

"Why is he sick?" Another cellar spider asked as Jafar grabs him by the throat.

"No, fool. We're gonna kill him." Jafar corrects the cellar spider. "And the rodent too."

"Great idea! Who needs a king?" Another cellar spider cried happily as all three cellar spiders dance around in circles like idiots. "No king! No king! La, la, la, la, la, la!"

"Idiots!" Tom roared. "There _will_ be a king!"

"But he said-" One of the cellar spiders didn't get a chance to finish his sentence when Jafar cuts him off.

" _I_ will be king! Stick with me, and you'll never grow hungry again!"

"Hooray!" The three cellar spiders cheered. "Long live the king!"

"Long live the king!" Echoed an army of cellar spiders. "Long live the king!"

The army of cellar spiders marched in a similar manner of the German Nazis as the song continues.

 _ **Cellar Spiders:** It's great that we'll soon be connected_  
 _With a king who'll be all-timed adored._

 ** _Jafar:_** _Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected  
_ _To take certain duties on board  
The future is littered with prizes  
And though I'm the main addressee  
The point that I must emphasize is  
YOU WON'T CATCH A MOUSE WITHOUT ME!_

 _So prepare for the coup of the century  
( **Cellar Spiders:** Oooh!)_

 _Be prepared for the sinister scam  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:** Oooh... La! La! La!)_ _  
_

 _Meticulous planning  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:** We'll have mice!)_ _  
_

 _Tenacity spanning  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:** Lots of mice!)_ _  
_

 _Decades of denial  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:** We repeat!)_ _  
_

 _Is simply why I'll  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:** Endless mice!)_ _  
_

 _Be king, undisputed  
( **Cellar Spiders:** Aaaaaaah...)_

 _Respected, saluted  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:**... aaaaaaah...)_ _  
_

 _And seen for the wonder I am  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:**... aaaaaaah!)_ _  
_

 _Yes, my fangs and ambitions are bared  
_ _( **Cellar Spiders:** Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)_ _  
_

 _Be prepared!_

 ** _Cellar Spiders:_** _Yes, our fangs and ambitions are bared_

 ** _Jafar, Tom and Cellar Spiders:_** _Be prepared!_

The audience (and Penfold) applauded when the song's over and the curtains rolled down in order to get ready for the next scene.

"This play keeps getting better and better." Penfold cried happily.

"I wonder who's that handsome one-eyed mouse that played the lead." Jeopardy Mouse said.

Penfold knows the answer to that, but decided not to tell Jeopardy Mouse about it.

()()()()()

Finally, after a couple of scenes, a couple of songs and an exciting climax ending with the death of the villain Jafar and the spider Princess Arachnia ascending to the throne of Spiderland as its new queen, Penfold sees the ending of the play where the mouse astronaut is looking at the group of spider villagers, including Dr. Spidus, and a group of primitive mice, including Nala Jane.

 _ **Mouse Astronaut:** I hate every spider I see  
From Arach-A to Arach-Z,  
No, you'll never make a spider out of me._

The spiders and the primitive mice pointed behind the mouse astronaut where he sees a cardboard cutout of the Statue of Liberty ascending from below the stage.

 _ **Mouse Astronaut:** Oh my God! I was wrong!_  
 _It was Earth all along_  
 _You finally made a spider..._

 ** _Spiders and Primitive Mice:_** _Yes we finally made a spider..._

 ** _Mouse Astronaut:_** _Yes, you finally made a spider out of me!  
( **Spiders and Primitive Mice:** Finally made a spider out of me!)_

Dr. Spidus comforts the mouse astronaut by placing one of her eight limbs onto his shoulder. The mouse astronaut looks up to her in respond.

"I love you, Dr. Spidus!"

The audience applauded even more as the curtains rolled down and the song ends, indicating that the play is over.

"YAY!" Penfold cheered.

The curtains rolled up again to reveal the entire cast of _**Stop the Planet of the Spiders, I Want to Get Off!**_ bowing down to the audience.

The turtle narrator from the opening went up in front of the cast and bowed down, despite being on a wheelchair. Within the audience, a familiar-looking male raccoon and a familiar-looking hippo stand up and applaud at the turtle narrator.

The entire cast let the mouse astronaut ascend forward and just his appearance alone made the audience applaud even louder. Even Jeopardy Mouse, Stiletto and Fedora were applauding to him even more.

This continued on until the curtains rolled down again as the audience start to leave the room. But not before the mouse astronaut gives Penfold a sad look.

()()()()()

Penfold waited for Danger Mouse at backstage after almost every cast members of the play have already left the building, including Estella.

When Jeopardy Mouse saw Penfold waiting backstage, her suspicions began to rise. Why would Penfold be waiting backstage? Unless...

"Chief!" Penfold cried as he saw Danger Mouse coming out from the dressing room.

Penfold ran up to Danger Mouse who went back to wearing his tuxedo from the beginning of this chapter. "Everybody was cheering for you, chief."

"Thanks, Penfold." Danger Mouse replied happily.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in the play?" Penfold asked.

"Penfold," Danger Mouse spoke as he and Penfold made their exit, not noticing Jeopardy Mouse still at backstage watching them. "This was the favor Fifi asked me to do. The actor that was originally going to play the lead quit at the last minute so that he can audition for the lead role in another expensive Hollywood movie, so Fifi asked me to take over his role as a last resort."

He lowers his head with guilt. "The reason I didn't tell you about it earlier was because I wanted it to be a surprise."

"You've already surprised me, Chief." Penfold replied. "Let's go home."

"You're right, Penfold." Danger Mouse replied. "I'm worn out from all of this."


End file.
